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  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.

    • 2,551
    • FAVS
    cassvinceradicaljocyJoelBuxton_troyjohnsonWonderMonkey78RealJeremeyPenngrowlmeowdjr_102
    • 2,853
    • RETWEETS
    radicaljocygrowlmeowElizDaShizlifecraftedwell___gabzAdorableAshtneyCanadianMclovinWapaa88
    SamGrittner
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."

    • 2,876
    • FAVS
    cassvinceradicaljocyDuprazKendra_troyjohnsonbrookay13apneanderthalMHendrickson18candidartichoke
    • 2,108
    • RETWEETS
    WeirdWorkaholiccassvinceawinchesterxxradicaljocycandidartichokeredeceptorKRISTINB5150marciakhartwig
    WonderMonkey78jaffryanlawyerthoughts
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!

    • 2,795
    • FAVS
    TaylorThrashAnnamalHalliganjenthedogcgregory32MarthaCForsythegohomeerin_serenasusanLukeImeson
    • 1,223
    • RETWEETS
    homeboymcjewMarthaCForsytheRealtor75248garrettcarroll9MonaSeguljaCaitlynKafkavliebetrausonofamitch13
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    My favorite way to get ready for a party is to take a shower, climb into bed, and then not go to that party.

    • 2,399
    • FAVS
    nvlesparkerzahranadeem91thisagainehNow_I_Know_asm0080haydar07sLMFayechorizoconpapas
    • 1,306
    • RETWEETS
    loveudeeply07SouthernDirtyhaydar07sCrazzzyKencassvince_JamesLeopoldclairexsimoneIlda_Lecter
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"

    • 2,314
    • FAVS
    backincccpCaleDownsmeganamramturnpaige1SolidFerretTheDaveHermanThe_WretchedEggradicaljocy
    • 1,172
    • RETWEETS
    radicaljocyLeeuth_bootyblancheCaitiMarloweedddeduckEllelouisegirlloudmouth_usatighegur
    MaryKoCojvanwink72themoviemuffin
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    If I ever find myself wearing a bathing suit with high heels I will know I made some serious wrong turns in my life.

    • 1,948
    • FAVS
    cassvinceWonderMonkey78djr_102stuff99antoniosknightslex_reyyDonnie_FairburnJakkiMac21
    • 990
    • RETWEETS
    JennifersMindYiselMacNerdyHonestlegs__HereGalOGNaniKleeTheFunnyFelaTheDorkyFangirlannemlaclair__
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    It's every dyslexic man's dream to meet a nice girl named Hannah.

    • 1,168
    • FAVS
    WonderMonkey78stuartmwritesAus_CJCChrisroselemmywinklerhannahsawbridgedjr_102Donnie_Fairburn
    • 1,621
    • RETWEETS
    hannahsawbridgedjr_102jared_barkmangwrm2013JasonCarney31Paul_0617JustKickinIttt__miggyfiggyx3
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Think my friend might have a coke problem. He kept going to the bathroom during lunch & every time he came back he did a line off the table.

    • 1,750
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonWonderMonkey78RealJeremeyPennhannahsawbridgeAus_CJlemmywinklerlit0_is_deaddjr_102
    • 914
    • RETWEETS
    lit0_is_deaddjr_102stuff99kathybotteasSamiAvigdorbrittanipinyonaddiecorlettGordoHelio
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.” – Terrible doctor.

    • 1,326
    • FAVS
    cassvinceSirDilliganDonnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinTracktrailMakahiloGirlMcChucklenutsMandaLynn314
    • 1,062
    • RETWEETS
    McChucklenutsMemphisBuddhabrucejennerluvrclubadubdubKyleMillerPIeRey27its24svnSeeMackMan
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I see London, I see France, ok this train is going WAY too fast holyshit is that Madrid?!

    • 1,608
    • FAVS
    emilyisanelfmeganamramcassvinceKerfuckusWonderMonkey78TwoAdultsjustinhookDonnie_Fairburn
    • 611
    • RETWEETS
    boredbeckyofficeballerinawrstew5150kittycat821CanadianMclovinNickKsobiechMcChucklenutschelseye930
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I may not photograph well, but IN PERSON I also look like something is off!!!

    • 1,359
    • FAVS
    AnnamalHalliganGretchBetch93VeronicaDrakeMarthaCForsytheJessBeukerWinchesterlyashlaaayeeAlmostMinty
    • 732
    • RETWEETS
    _serenasusanRachVoodooChildwanda57688457SaraantakiiTheBaronessBibzHaHaHaHannahEssadamjschneidermmdegeorge
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    *checks email* *checks Twitter* *checks Facebook* *checks Instagram* *looks up at world for 9 seconds* *repeats for 60-70 years* *dies*

    • 926
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonWonderMonkey78nickchickownDrSMarteljustinhookDonnie_FairburnbluesymoodsHurricaneElNino__
    • 1,104
    • RETWEETS
    kathybotteasyourfaveletterAnuKPeaditsueBriggsHattongabrielletozerzachprague10thousandhangs
    christophrBrandonSings
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "One last thing: Lorraine, may I take a photo of you for my binder?" #debates

    • 489
    • FAVS
    Donnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinatanenhaus_Mo_lee_weinerdog4lifeandyeriksonSaraThomas84pjlynch
    • 1,242
    • RETWEETS
    JayCee302____________dingusArikParnassSusenMcAlleoneBlue__AmericaMrEnergyCzarBayAreaBadger
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "Don't be that guy." - Anti-identify theft slogan.

    • 698
    • FAVS
    emilyisanelfmeganamramCovertAgentPDonnie_FairburnPercySleeves__CanadianMclovinLachlanHTheTennisPhenom
    • 973
    • RETWEETS
    PercySleeves__favstar_historyMcChucklenutsWillis168Squad_Of_ChainzradicaljocyJackTinironKyleMillerPI
    JosesLovesYou
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Been waiting in this bathroom for an hour and an employee has yet to come wash my hands.

    • 1,066
    • FAVS
    asm0080emilyisanelfmeganamrampdavidy8TheChallsCedsDeadcassvincejdaroczy
    • 527
    • RETWEETS
    ConStar24emilyisanelfTheChallscassvincekatvonwittWonderMonkey78Reallyfamoussnishadtrivedi
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Should I go on the Paleo diet or annoy my friends some other way?

    • 1,055
    • FAVS
    asm0080rachelbkissbeersudsSmartassChefcassvincePaleoFoundationradicaljocyweightlos30days
    • 532
    • RETWEETS
    SmartassChefcassvinceradicaljocylosecaloriefastTechRojobrettthatcherjestcoastMandaLynn314
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Goddamn it feels so fucking good to be part of America's largest 4G network.

    • 1,258
    • FAVS
    emilyisanelfmeganamramcassvinceSage_38fawnavalentinestuff99OldUncleDaveOCanadianMclovin
    • 308
    • RETWEETS
    cassvincescottabledooriverwilliams6RyanRyeBreadbrocketxyzambienbabe__DawlceeRachelGosen
    dapptraparandomhim
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "Is this seat Taken?" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair.

    • 651
    • FAVS
    cassvinceBecahJayyOmega_J12radicaljocyWonderMonkey78djr_102Donnie_FairburnCanadianMclovin
    • 829
    • RETWEETS
    TheDaveHermanradicaljocyMcChucklenutsKyleMillerPIandrewcreamAntDiPalmaandymerzSirDineshkumar
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person.

    • 692
    • FAVS
    meganamramcassvinceDonnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinjestcoastCJZ_1dadakinjuneohara65
    • 712
    • RETWEETS
    bradleydeankingMandaLynn314favstar_historypscarlylesk_sophiaBBourqueSheilTristanOfieldmsullivanphotog__
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "Jen died doing what she loved: googling someone's net worth on her phone while driving."

    • 1,047
    • FAVS
    cgregory32OurgrassDougDonovanmeganamramVance_Jerichosav_kniselyhayleyk1026Emelia_WithAnE
    • 316
    • RETWEETS
    link2landocomedynestwanda57688457ReachAshHerethestubbornwifeJuniorbaconz____xtinedevamithran
@jenstatsky

@jenstatsky

Writer (Parks and Recreation, Broad City, Hello Ladies, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.) Comedy's bad girl.

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