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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.

    • 2,551
    • FAVS
    RojaBandariLifeAsJodiadvencherisUpdogFunkcolettelmttomcashgentcassvinceradicaljocy
    • 2,855
    • RETWEETS
    ally_miless_helengibsonnJakHathawaySkyeO01LixiangcaiChrisScarletteRhythms_n_Boozeradicaljocy
    SamGrittner
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."

    • 2,877
    • FAVS
    viciousbabydollitsallonewordMapleLeaf_TomMDaniel21beersudsSuperTeeWhytomcashgentkantstoplife
    • 2,109
    • RETWEETS
    riesypieceyMrsWendyAnnMissScarlettKviciousbabydollMapleLeaf_Tomsugar_lips30__SxRxRnR__kantstoplife
    WonderMonkey78jaffryanlawyerthoughts
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    It's every dyslexic man's dream to meet a nice girl named Hannah.

    • 1,169
    • FAVS
    tomcashgentWonderMonkey78stuartmwritesAus_CJCChrisroselemmywinklerhannahsawbridgedjr_102
    • 1,621
    • RETWEETS
    hannahsawbridgedjr_102jared_barkmangwrm2013JasonCarney31Paul_0617__JustKickinIttt__miggyfiggyx3
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    My favorite way to get ready for a party is to take a shower, climb into bed, and then not go to that party.

    • 2,400
    • FAVS
    elizabeth_felsRhythms_n_Boozenvlesparkerzahranadeem91thisagainehNow_I_Know___asm0080haydar07s
    • 1,307
    • RETWEETS
    Rhythms_n_Boozeloveudeeply07SouthernDirtyhaydar07sCrazzzyKencassvince_JamesLeopoldclairexsimone
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "One last thing: Lorraine, may I take a photo of you for my binder?" #debates

    • 489
    • FAVS
    Donnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinatanenhaus_Mo_lee_weinerdog4lifeandyeriksonSaraThomas84pjlynch
    • 1,242
    • RETWEETS
    JayCee302____________dingusArikParnassSusenMcAlleoneBlue__AmericaMrEnergyCzarBayAreaBadger
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I've officially started crossing my sevens when I write them. It's a fun, easy way to distract myself from the fact that I'll be dead soon!

    • 2,819
    • FAVS
    contradictbeermanboobsjestcoastadamisapenguinalvaradoB94Ana_RealMe17shyguy_123ErikaTeneva
    • 1,227
    • RETWEETS
    SadzDockratalllie_arnRhythms_n_Boozeur_f4b_groundcoffeekylamarieeee_Z_Less4alanna_drummond
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"

    • 2,315
    • FAVS
    elizabeth_felsRhythms_n_BoozeExposedMantisbackincccpCaleDownsmeganamramturnpaige1SolidFerret
    • 1,173
    • RETWEETS
    Rhythms_n_BoozeradicaljocyLeeuth_bootyblancheCaitiMarloweedddeduckEllelouisegirlloudmouth_usa
    MaryKoCojvanwink72themoviemuffin
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    *checks email* *checks Twitter* *checks Facebook* *checks Instagram* *looks up at world for 9 seconds* *repeats for 60-70 years* *dies*

    • 926
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonWonderMonkey78nickchickownDrSMarteljustinhookDonnie_Fairburnbluesymoods__HurricaneElNino__
    • 1,104
    • RETWEETS
    kathybotteasyourfaveletterAnuKPeaditsueBriggsHattongabrielletozerzachprague10thousandhangs
    christophrBrandonSings
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.” – Terrible doctor.

    • 1,326
    • FAVS
    cassvinceSirDilliganDonnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinTracktrailMakahiloGirlMcChucklenutsMandaLynn314
    • 1,062
    • RETWEETS
    McChucklenutsMemphisBuddhabrucejennerluvrclubadubdubKyleMillerPIeRey27its24svnSeeMackMan
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    If I ever find myself wearing a bathing suit with high heels I will know I made some serious wrong turns in my life.

    • 1,949
    • FAVS
    elizabeth_felsRhythms_n_BoozecassvinceWonderMonkey78djr_102stuff99antoniosknightslex_reyy
    • 991
    • RETWEETS
    Rhythms_n_BoozeJennifersMindYiselMacNerdyHonestlegs__HereGalOGNaniKleeTheFunnyFelaTheDorkyFangirl
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "Don't be that guy." - Anti-identify theft slogan.

    • 698
    • FAVS
    emilyisanelfmeganamramCovertAgentPDonnie_FairburnPercySleeves__CanadianMclovinLachlanHTheTennisPhenom
    • 973
    • RETWEETS
    PercySleeves__favstar_historyMcChucklenutsWillis168Squad_Of_ChainzradicaljocyJackTinironKyleMillerPI
    JosesLovesYou
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    Think my friend might have a coke problem. He kept going to the bathroom during lunch & every time he came back he did a line off the table.

    • 1,750
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonWonderMonkey78RealJeremeyPennhannahsawbridgeAus_CJlemmywinklerlit0_is_deaddjr_102
    • 914
    • RETWEETS
    lit0_is_deaddjr_102stuff99kathybotteasSamiAvigdorbrittanipinyonaddiecorlettGordoHelio
  • jenstatsky
    • 476
    • FAVS
    Donnie_Fairburnhguttman51aDjycoolYTroyBabbalex_cimminoTravgoodheyillmrjoebranco
    • 832
    • RETWEETS
    CassieLarkinPita_LeebutthurtAdammrjoebrancolepetiterobotbl4cks1xlukesawyer_indlaceattack
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    "Is this seat Taken?" - Guy who confuses Liam Neeson movies with a chair.

    • 651
    • FAVS
    cassvinceBecahJayyOmega_J12radicaljocyWonderMonkey78djr_102Donnie_FairburnCanadianMclovin
    • 829
    • RETWEETS
    TheDaveHermanradicaljocyMcChucklenutsKyleMillerPIandrewcreamAntDiPalmaandymerzSirDineshkumar
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I may not photograph well, but IN PERSON I also look like something is off!!!

    • 1,376
    • FAVS
    PedroHernandezIcontradictElizabethhh102alyssa_traciemerekennjestcoastlauren_leclercGlowOfElegance
    • 738
    • RETWEETS
    kierraalexis12abbeymelonsAlawnehAlexashelmhthelauracaskeyZ_Less4sarahofffJoshZatland
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person.

    • 692
    • FAVS
    meganamramcassvinceDonnie_FairburnCanadianMclovinjestcoastCJZ_1dadakinjuneohara65
    • 712
    • RETWEETS
    bradleydeankingMandaLynn314favstar_historypscarlylesk_sophiaBBourqueSheilTristanOfieldmsullivanphotog__
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    What's the right age to tell a film that it's adapted?

    • 709
    • FAVS
    RilesNmelbourneArthur40TwoDentTheDaveHermanmjchamplinradicaljocyaustinjgebbiaSirDilliganDonnie_Fairburn
    • 614
    • RETWEETS
    RilesNmelbourneArthur40TwoDentnicko236radicaljocyralighthallReallyfamoussMcChucklenutstessamaeharris
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    I see London, I see France, ok this train is going WAY too fast holyshit is that Madrid?!

    • 1,608
    • FAVS
    emilyisanelfmeganamramcassvinceKerfuckusWonderMonkey78TwoAdultsjustinhookDonnie_Fairburn
    • 611
    • RETWEETS
    boredbeckyofficeballerinawrstew5150kittycat821CanadianMclovinNickKsobiechMcChucklenutschelseye930
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    You can probably cool it with the piggy back rides, couples in photos that come with picture frames.

    • 521
    • FAVS
    electric_jam_Hypercraxymeliss_cocoMikeMcNeil_JpPruelleffinsunshineWhatevaConcScarsFourEyes
    • 611
    • RETWEETS
    HypercraxyBorkBorkulator_delbsWhatevaConcBookisherBunnysjmmurdockJasonCarney31hellyeah63
  • jenstatsky
      Jen Statsky @jenstatsky

    No sadder sound than a human being repositioning themselves on an air mattress.

    • 495
    • FAVS
    mkpaulsenISOremarkablemanchild37dorenjoyMarioTardedAssholes_followluvmyADHDsttepherz
    • 592
    • RETWEETS
    JorduhMarioTardedAssholes_followluvmyADHDSummerLeeCeeramiiisajewfacekillahellyeah63
    robfeeIntoxicaTweeted

Jen Statsky’s Best Tweets (By Retweets)

@jenstatsky

@jenstatsky

Writer for Lady Dynamite (Netflix 2016), Parks and Recreation, Broad City, Hello Ladies, & Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Comedy's bad girl.

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