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Ever lay awake at 1 AM, not lamenting the loss of a lover or being stressed out... but just wanting to make a steak in the oven?
The amount of energy I spend pretending I have it together should probably go into me actually getting myself together.
I wish I was more of a cyborg -- wouldn't have fingernails to bite, could do complex math in my head, couldn't ever lose my phone...
Which is in most ways a good thing EXCEPT when all you want to do is go into deep sleep.
Today in the news: MN passes marriage equality, Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, and Jesse fell asleep on a park bench.
What? My house is only 2500 square feet, my kids will go to PUBLIC SCHOOL & there's no nanny or vegan live-in chef? *faints on Chris Martin*
Taylor Swift's "22" is the worst thing that has ever happened to my ears.
Who do I have to pay/kill/blow to get a nap in around here?
I want a button to freeze time so I can nap and also to pose people I don't like in embarrassing positions and photograph it.
Twitter is a bizarre void where you shout out your most random insignificant thoughts, and occasionally hear back from somebody.