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What lane was I in when I looked at twitter? I need a driver so I can tweet easily.
Hey! Did you guys know that it was rude of me to ask a grown man (41yo) to cover his mouth when he coughs? I AM SUCH A BITCH!
Yes dear, someone gave me cold pills and coffee! Now they are making me count diamonds. This should be fun.
Hey people that hold your phones six inches away from your mouth and talk really loud. You are a jackass.
This girl has been in the bathroom forever now. Whats she doing? Tweeting? My turn, bitch! I need to check the tl
Craigslist makes me feel smart. " I am sell couch and love seat they are good shape but one problem it have that cat rip it so let me know"
Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes.
Naked Gun 33 1/3
Hey, black Friday shoppers, we are only selling you this shit on sale because its not worth retail. Oh and you didn't buy it last year.
Random question, does fucktard mean that you are retarded at Fucking or just really Fucking retarded?
http://t.co/IoG58Ddg I am a Fucking adult. No I don't have kids. Yes its for me. * rolls eyes at target guy*
@billsquire http://yfrog.com/mg3vfguj we are really happy to have you on the show!!!
If you can't make a girl laugh I will always question your ability to make her cum.
Isn't counting your unfollowers kinda like noticing the ones leaving your party and not greeting the ones arriving?
just an Ellie that finally found her Carl
