Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
What lane was I in when I looked at twitter? I need a driver so I can tweet easily.
Hey! Did you guys know that it was rude of me to ask a grown man (41yo) to cover his mouth when he coughs? I AM SUCH A BITCH!
I was nice to someone I don't like.
Where's my treat?
Yes dear, someone gave me cold pills and coffee! Now they are making me count diamonds. This should be fun.
If looks really could kill I would be working alone.
Hey people that hold your phones six inches away from your mouth and talk really loud. You are a jackass.
This girl has been in the bathroom forever now. Whats she doing? Tweeting? My turn, bitch! I need to check the tl
Craigslist makes me feel smart. " I am sell couch and love seat they are good shape but one problem it have that cat rip it so let me know"
Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes.
Naked Gun 33 1/3
You don't have to tell us you're high. We can tell.
Hey, black Friday shoppers, we are only selling you this shit on sale because its not worth retail. Oh and you didn't buy it last year.
This asshole can't drive for a shit!
- the guy behind me, probably
Random question, does fucktard mean that you are retarded at Fucking or just really Fucking retarded?
Why don't ya fuck off while you still got the legs to carry ya? ~ snatch
If you can't make a girl laugh I will always question your ability to make her cum.
Isn't counting your unfollowers kinda like noticing the ones leaving your party and not greeting the ones arriving?