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  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    I bought a pair of Undies yesterday.

    On the front it says, "I Will do Anything For Love"

    ..and on the back it says, "But I Won't do That."

    • 822
    • FAVS
    BillWillisf3CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEkrisstalmethhhIveGotYou23swolebeaujoordanmaarieabel_UpInSpace
    • 447
    • RETWEETS
    twinklelillstarLilDisruptiveCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEIveGotYou23BombshellBettizarah_nMrTallPaul1
    HairyJew4LifefatubasticusKate_GoldsmithInamorata_Jenny
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    The first fuck is always an audition.

    • 648
    • FAVS
    2014cecyBaconF00TchopblockphxJsrgroupJrwildandblue2204Blonde4DayzispypandaChristianPlante
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    7210d763dc11443LafWhenLifeSux2014cecyBlonde4Dayzairwalk_11ThisNiggaErrolGreyAreaTweetsnordicmonte
    PJPFLAMrAdamBezrikpayneDavidOzmund
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Better ejaculate than ejacunever.

    • 496
    • FAVS
    DoneEffedUpMsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEtrishalivenewstart43BadMikeyBadbohdisativa
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    amstellar_MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEBadMikeyBadnolehacex3bohdisativahaleysfalling
    B_poling82goodballs
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Before sex, u help each other get naked. After sex, u only dress yourself. Moral of the story; in life, no one helps u once you're fucked.

    • 362
    • FAVS
    LilDisruptiveHelmdawgEcbudmerrickRachelLeigh227Jorge_Rosiemax_pad21nursesaricaGutiIsland
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    LilDisruptiveHelmdawgEmax_pad21nursesaricaGutiIslandbrookeivynancy_yogapantsdjpixil
    castabignetPoliticallyILL1LadyBombs________
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Tip: Gently placing your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shh, not another word" is super romantic... but cops don't seem to think so.

    • 292
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEICountBeansscbudmerrickMrTallPaul1RachelLeigh227Faceyspacemax_pad21
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildmax_pad21castabignetFilterlessFemmeredpawn3lmashellPOWDER_9pcaryshelton______
    GirltoMom
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego

    • 249
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEICountBeansshirojesusredpawn3DrHowieMellPOWDER_9ablativeJo
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEPOWDER_9JoatkonKayleeWallageJenny4ashleyryerywtrjrthytr__THEBU_ZZED
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Everybody you have ever met came out of a vagina screaming in fear.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    thetobbieonume_XalqeeCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgElife_suckerMrTallPaul1max_pad21
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    onume_XalqeeCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEnancy_yogapantsPsychedelicHercastabignetscarred_z_head
    warholeary
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    You know you fucked up big time when you're reincarnated as a sock.

    • 212
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEkimikimi531cbudmerricklife_suckerArtIsMyPornRachelLeigh227Faceyspace
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildJmvramos_trishalivemax_pad21AlyssaNicole66Ella_Belle_Lee____JustinH318jessemehler
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Breaking news: The Jury overturns their decisions after seeing multiple angry tweets

    • 140
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgElife_suckerPoliticallyILL1hirojesusredpawn3rushkg441dramafreemama
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWild_GenghisKSamBK71NoudiemalachadPOWDER_9phillywild305abbyjane3DiBiasePosse3__
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    I wish I could commute to work by roller coaster.

    • 189
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDMsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgENo_tact_hereSteveOHellNomax_pad21PoliticallyILL1
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildNo_tact_hereSteveOHellNospecialsauce2City_In_ColourFaithLoveTree____Leanne_Pringle
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    What If The Male Avengers Posed Like The Female One? http://t.co/nUM5StN4

    • 135
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEhirojesusJenny4ashleyIcumonboobz______HairyJew4LifeTuna_LoverRowdyBerger
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    DBizzle45SabroutStephanieCreekMrNoncentsjimdoyalCanAzn73__________SchikiladeanJELLYcuh_
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    If He's Just Not That Into You, tell him to wiggle around some more.

    • 190
    • FAVS
    MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEcbudmerricklife_suckerMrTallPaul1RachelLeigh227max_pad21
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildMrTallPaul1Sexy__Alimax_pad21castabignetPOWDER_9Mr_Kapowski
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Dear Twitter, I appreciate the offering of adding a location to my tweets, but I'd rather not be a CSI victim and be murdered in my sleep...

    • 179
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDMsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEPoliticallyILL1hirojesusPOWDER_9Jenny4ashley
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildPOWDER_9madrigroberSableFlare________steverudykcherrycola_babekatniiip
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    The reason I swear so much is because fuck you.

    • 172
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgElife_suckerhirojesusNoudiemalachadPOWDER_9Jenny4ashley
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildPOWDER_9PeeNut1973TheSwanDonMissMollly________THEBU_ZZEDOConnellComedyshastamcnasty7
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    I want all my contacts to take a picture of themselves squished against glass so when they call they looked trapped in my phone.

    • 150
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgENo_tact_hereSteveOHellNocbudmerricklife_suckerMrTallPaul1DelanieFischer
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgENo_tact_hereSteveOHellNomax_pad21BareChestyB_poling82madrigrober
    madrigrober
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Want to get high for free? Tell a bunch of stoners you have never smoked weed before.

    • 142
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEErnstIraDeitwidlesticksstaciarose_tumtum_TGODromancepance
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildBasedPegasuschicagoravegirltrishalivebrookeivycastabignetPOWDER_9Brieannaeve
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than a deaf person's orgasm.

    • 163
    • FAVS
    MsJJ_14CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEMrTallPaul1jewfacekillahirojesusPOWDER_9Jenny4ashley
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEPOWDER_9madrigroberkcmoTJdrunktweets81trishaliveSexyCamela
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause your face is pretty fucked up

    • 136
    • FAVS
    CatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEhirojesusJenny4ashleyTheSwanDonJacobThomas31____ryerywtrjrthytr__AndLive2Love
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    amorebarnard12__CatfishGoneWildJaywoo74Ibanezmpkelkillsmadrigrobermommyof3bugscyclingfiend74
    Partlykidding
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEjewfacekillaTigerScott88hirojesusgreciapapitasJenny4ashley
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildegfisher61BeingShubhamAMalaguena915favstar1000favsChiblackhawkgfw__Slimm957so_amused
    absolutemess______
  • jessyisswag
      Jessica @jessyisswag

    Just found out the hard way that men are neither impressed nor aroused by girls who can sing the whole theme to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    BlametheADHDCatfishGoneWildHelmdawgEMrTallPaul1jewfacekillahirojesusJenny4ashleyJacobThomas31____
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    CatfishGoneWildNoWii82Mr_Kapowskikelkillsdontcallme_thatkaty_baybaybyebyealibi______the__fellow
@jessyisswag

@jessyisswag

I have gambled away my right to choose my avatar. US http://favstar.fm/users/jessyisswag