Steven Tyler has exited "American Idol."

Now, if we can just get "American Idol" to exit television.

PSY's "Gangnam Style" is now the most-watched YouTube video of all time.

Congratulations, Earth... you're fucking retarded.

Bob Seger doesn't relocate during the day.

He prefers Night Moves.

Does anyone have a savings account?

I'm just checking.

If you pray for Romney to win, but he loses... don't worry.

It just means that God hates you. #Forward

#VoteObama #Obama2012 #TeamObama

"Glee" has been renewed for 2 more seasons.

Can this week get any worse?

#Watertown #manhunt

Okay, Giants fans... don’t get so stoned tonight that you forget to vote to legalize pot tomorrow.

Jim Henson would've been 75 today.

Details surrounding his death are still a little Fozzie.

Bert & Ernie won't be getting married, but they can SnuggleUpIguess.

Paul McCartney turns 70 today.

This might explain his new song, "Back in the AARP."

Herman Cain plans to make a "major announcement" this Saturday.

(please be gay, please be gay, please be gay)

I yell at Starbucks employees just to Venti my frustration.

Michele Bachmann has turned down "Dancing with the Stars."

She added, "If I wanted to be touched by a gay man, I'd stay at home."

Me: "I wanna see that new Michael Jackson Cirque du Soleil show."

She: "I hate Michael Jackson."

Me: "He's not going to be there."

"Twilight: Breaking Dawn" is being released in 2 parts.

Here's a better idea: release it in 0 parts.

If hotels gave out movie awards, Best Western would win for Best Western.

Looks like Romney's been studying.

Unfortunately, he's been studying Obama from the 1st debate. #finaldebate

Robin Williams listens to music on his iPod Nano-Nanu.

Just saw "Life of Pi."

I give it 3.14 stars.

40,000 lbs of ground beef sent to Georgia schools were recalled due to possible E. coli contamination. Or, as Taco Bell calls it, "Tuesday."