With all these commercial breaks you'd think they were paying the salary of Kentucky's starting 5. #SweetBabyHaysoos

At least your first time wasn't THAT bad. RT @wtfuckfacts: When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode… then he dies.

Once for every follower you have please. RT @missdaiana: I am on my way to Philadelphia right now punch Proctor in his penis.

Dear Falcons fans, we're gonna need to invest in some heavy duty suspension. The bandwagon gets a LOT heavier tomorrow morning. #atlden12

Does the Naismith Watch on the halftime show consist of a camera following around @trobinson0? If not, I'm not watching. #RockChalk

The field of sixteen feels a little sweeter after that win. #RockChalk

If I wore a cowboy hat & sleeveless button down shirt unbuttoned, I would carry condoms in my chest pocket too. Youre scoring ALL THE TIME.

Honey Badger can sit on a fucking dick... RT @johncpacker: Honey Badger don't care he will take the #Heisman trophy from whoever wins it

My pregnant cashier just told me, "my fart is gonna turn into a shart" #thesearethepeopleiworkwith

I just accidently opened an Amy Winehouse column in TweetDeck and I think TweetDeck just exploded... 702 updates at one time..

Yes. Surely the number one recruit came to KU bc of a Twitter account with quasi nudity. Bc the Internet isn’t full of actual porn.

Did Kevin Ware get to cut down the net? I’m not quite sure, I didn’t see 384 people claim to be crying over it.

Courtesy of the Deloreon, this is Roy Williams post-game interview tonight.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvW0SGEqC5k … #kubball

As Roy Williams waits for the winner of KU-WKU, I think that Bill Self shares this intimate thought by Roy..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvW0SGEqC5k … #kubball

When bandwagoners start spelling like Cajun homeless people, it’s not a good look. #GeauxSomewhereWithThat

Who's this Broncos rook with the two interceptions in two possessions? He's gonna need to learn to read the defense better. #LOLZ #atlden12

In honor of Ben Sheets, I plan on getting three sheets to the wind this evening.

Well played sir. RT @hrzmatt: "Is there anything R.A. Dickey can't do?" Start the All Star Game.

We just had a discussion about the WNBA and actually named 4 players from its existence. I might cry myself to sleep tonight.

Feeling pretty good about my first attempt at potato salad from scratch...