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You have the hair like a Greek shipping magnates worthless son..
I have a team of 7 Air Buds and Michael Jordan to win it all on my March Madness bracket. Did I do it right?
Before you can buy organic food you must sign a promissory note saying that you will tell everyone all the time that you eat organic food
From now on if I see a pregnant woman smoking, I will show her the same courtesy she shows her fetus, and beat her in the face & limbs.
99 problems and this bitch was all of them...
Time to reevaluate some priorities, not let my standards drop... And most importantly not waste my time on things that won't contribute back
When men tweet things demeaning to women it's bc their dick is around 3.5 in. and they need to feel like something other than a little bitch
Dear Katie and Kristen...you stupid, stupid bitches...I'll will GLADLY take Tom and Rob off your hands you ungrateful skanks
I think the most original thing someone can do is make a reference to Tebow and how bad he needs to pray before he plays whatever team
Pretty soon wearing pajama pants, having 3 kids with you & paying with foodstamps will be mandatory if you want to shop at Walmart
All Ke$ha fans have tramp-stamps, bad highlights, and look like they like to fuck guys who wear TapOut shirts
When my husband watches "Bad Santa" without me, or has sex with another girl...it feels like he's cheating on me
I'm willing to bet anything that people who display stuffed animals in the window of their car also keep their socks on during sex
I enjoy horror movies, smoking and baking cupcakes.
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