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I totally just got played by a tv show. I'm looking at you, The Good Wife.
Ad in my inbox: "A Ben & Jerry's Wedding: Catering and Custom Cakes for the Big Day." You've got the wrong lady, but sign me up anyway.
"I should do things. As opposed to not doing things." Back from vacation. I should probably start doing things again.
if I ruled the world, I would mix up the cookie dough and taste it, then my handmaidens would do all the boring rolling out/baking stuff.
the party next door makes me wish I were friends with my neighbors. srsly guys, call me. i'm fun. (er, my mom thinks i'm fun).
the cars on my block are honking like they *don't* enjoy free ice skating.
Dear men of the universe-- any discussion of "gettin' pussy" absolutely, unquestionably negates any such possibility. Also, ew.
Dude looks like a lady #dolgopolov #tennistweet #whatfootball
oh, nothing. just totally losing my shit listening to my coworker slurp everything she eats or drinks. quietly sobbing.
pretty sure I could figure out cold fusion if I spent less time obsessing over how torturous it is to have an odd number of unread emails.
sometimes i talk to my mom in a mix of french & english. tonight, i blurted out, "bon, enjoy your douche." then we laughed until we cried.
Jill R. --> Jill S.