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@ronanfarrow just inviting you to my Jewel karaoke night, Ronan. We'll sing about our small hands without you, since you're too cool.
@garretharkawik he's still feeling it out-- he heard it for the first time in his prep session.
Well played, Onion writers. Wait, are you kidding? RT @foxnation OBAMA FLIP FLOPS, DECLARES WAR ON MARRIAGE
Ad in my inbox: "A Ben & Jerry's Wedding: Catering and Custom Cakes for the Big Day." You've got the wrong lady, but sign me up anyway.
"I should do things. As opposed to not doing things." Back from vacation. I should probably start doing things again.
if I ruled the world, I would mix up the cookie dough and taste it, then my handmaidens would do all the boring rolling out/baking stuff.
the party next door makes me wish I were friends with my neighbors. srsly guys, call me. i'm fun. (er, my mom thinks i'm fun).
INCREDIBOX [ Official website ] - Create your own acapella performed by a seemingly very sleepy Frenchman.... http://tumblr.com/xti2323lzk
NYT: "There were children, forgive them." http://nyti.ms/fdqmN6. Who would be brave enough to continue?
Dear men of the universe-- any discussion of "gettin' pussy" absolutely, unquestionably negates any such possibility. Also, ew.
oh, nothing. just totally losing my shit listening to my coworker slurp everything she eats or drinks. quietly sobbing.
pretty sure I could figure out cold fusion if I spent less time obsessing over how torturous it is to have an odd number of unread emails.
sometimes i talk to my mom in a mix of french & english. tonight, i blurted out, "bon, enjoy your douche." then we laughed until we cried.
I'm the bomg.
