if you really are in line outside a Target right now, it's time to reevaluate everything.

@louboobearr for the record, @justinbieber stole his bio from ME. I've had this bio since the 70's

70 years after WW2, LeBron James has America rooting for the German. Congratulations #Mavericks

please RT this to raise awareness in general

Tonight on #JKL @aplusk @justinbieber #Punkd #Boyfriend, the 1st #DWTS castoff & music from @therejects #KidsInTheStreet

The show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” could just as easily have been titled “I Am Very Very Stupid”

So realistically, are we supposed to continue tweeting forever? What's the long-term plan here?

Tonight primetime #JKL NBA special 8PM ET before #Mavs #Heat (after in the West) with @usherraymondiv & a prank on @ronartest #Lakers

Rest in peace Kim Jong Il. You were a very sweet lady.:(

hey everybody, Madonna is asking for world peace so let's try to do this

it would help me a LOT if the characters on #GameofThrones wore nametags

I met a black guy named Brad yesterday.

Six years ago today, we stopped talking to each other. #happybirthdaytwitter

Thank you, TapOut t-shirts, for telling me all I need to know about the individual in them.

Shortening "OK" to K isn't K. K?

I really hope bin laden didn't get reincarnated as one of Mariah Carey's babies.

I absolutely LOVE Chris Paul @cp3 but am concerned that trading Lamar Odom could negatively impact upcoming seasons of the Kardashians

here it is - YouTube challenge "HEY JIMMY KIMMEL, I UNPLUGGED THE TV DURING THE BIG GAME" http://t.co/G7bA89gm

my hobbies include updating software and compulsively recharging devices

congratulations to both Arnold and his housekeeper on their little Termin-Maid-or!