Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
No more tickles or I will kick your weenie! Said my youngest..
Having multiple personalities does not entitle you to drive in HOV lanes.
Best way to get kids to leave the amusement park is to take them 2 hrs before it closes.
Maybe its time weight watchers changes the Carrie fisher commercials, 20 lbs in 2 years not that great.
Best quote from a 7 year old, how am I supposed to know.... I'm not side kick!!
Does the song whistle mean what I think it does? Or do I just have a dirty mind?
Why is calling someone a douche bag so bad? Now calling someone a colostomy bag...that's derogatory
Todays quote “perfection paralysis"
69 followers...hmmm I know there is a good tweet in there somewhere
Had a good tweet, but was censored!!
Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of choice!
Damn coffee machine, just made an iced coffee with hot water! #nescafe
Man those are a sexy pair of crocks.. Said nobody ever!
My youngest turned 6 this week, which means I have about 8 yrs before she starts dating! #FML
Even though it is PJ fun day at school, I still feel like a delinquent parent sending my girls to school in their sleepwear. #WT
Can wonderpets set off my house alarm?
Probably Not Like You and that's a good thing. I also make my own sandwiches..