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  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    No more tickles or I will kick your weenie! Said my youngest..

    • 6
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_serialmatrixMytwoscentzDystopia1984______madamesnooty______theschmeltz
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Having multiple personalities does not entitle you to drive in HOV lanes.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Isidrafiuxg______Julianmpqw________Dannettenbha______
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Best way to get kids to leave the amusement park is to take them 2 hrs before it closes.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    1knotwholeSandyEggoMonk
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    SandyEggoMonk
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Maybe its time weight watchers changes the Carrie fisher commercials, 20 lbs in 2 years not that great.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    HallpassCanadaRoyKeDa
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Best quote from a 7 year old, how am I supposed to know.... I'm not side kick!!

    • 2
    • FAVS
    thuyspasianolet__jimmyzyyc
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Does the song whistle mean what I think it does? Or do I just have a dirty mind?

    • 1
    • FAV
    cark03
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Why is calling someone a douche bag so bad? Now calling someone a colostomy bag...that's derogatory

    • 1
    • FAV
    ryan9billion______
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Todays quote “perfection paralysis"

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    69 followers...hmmm I know there is a good tweet in there somewhere

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Had a good tweet, but was censored!!

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Being a male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of choice!

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Damn coffee machine, just made an iced coffee with hot water! #nescafe

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Man those are a sexy pair of crocks.. Said nobody ever!

    • 1
    • FAV
    TheFearBoners____
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    My youngest turned 6 this week, which means I have about 8 yrs before she starts dating! #FML

    • 1
    • FAV
    Aspersioncast
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Even though it is PJ fun day at school, I still feel like a delinquent parent sending my girls to school in their sleepwear. #WT

    • 1
    • FAV
    theschmeltz
  • jimmyzyyc
      Jimmyz @jimmyzyyc

    Can wonderpets set off my house alarm?

    • 1
    • FAV
    schwhat__________
@jimmyzyyc

@jimmyzyyc

Probably Not Like You and that's a good thing. I also make my own sandwiches..