i got 99 problems and all of them are luftballons

the north korean national anthem is just the words "north korea" sung to the tune of "my sharona"

why did they build a highway to the danger zone

My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can't respond. That's where House Horn comes in

sigur ros. sigur rachel. sigur chandler. sigur phoebe. sigur joey. sigur the other one

shut up about bacon. bacon is good but just shut up about it already please. it's just bacon. it's literally just bacon

"I'm afraid you've got Tom Jones Disease" "oh no, doctor, is that rare?" "well, it's not unusual"

I wanna know what happened in all these haunted houses in mario games that there are like hundreds of ghosts there

coffee is weird. beanwater?? why did we even think to try beanwater

All literature to be referred to as "pre-apocalyptic" from now on

Subaru backwards is "U R a bus" and I resent that. Im not a bus

Why do they always specify "real fruit" smoothies. Are there other kinds. Fake fruit smoothies. "This one has jorkberries"

who ARE the mythbusters? *montage of like ten pianos exploding* adam savage *piano explodes* jamie hyneman *piano explodes* *piano explodes*

I can't believe nobody thought of sandwiches until like the 1700s. The past was stupid

an orb floats into a bar. the bartender asks "why the perfectly spherical glowing blue body?" the orb hums and crackles

I used to be the youngest person in the world

the owner of Ford's Theater where lincoln was shot looks Exactly like jerry seinfeld, and it's probably actually him http://t.co/ZoZDwPsi

If you call the Ghostbusters EVERY time there's something strange in your neighborhood, they're gonna stop showing up after awhile

I promise never to use itunes 11 to build nuclear missiles pic.twitter.com/sYgBVCWt

did scaramouche ever end up doing the fandango or did that ever get resolved or what