Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
All I want is a job where I can build up enough vacation time so I can get all my laundry done. ...And by "my" I do mean my wife's.
I may have overcompensated while making the 2 youngest a lunch w/ an origami swan napkin that says "Dad loves you."
Bittersweet-I only need to make 2 lunches today because the oldest now has senior privileges. So an empty bag of parent tears is all he gets
Rushed home to get dinner on before my wife got there. Remembered she'd be late. Now outback using this chainsaw to find my man card.
Glad wifie likes my wild college-age female friends. Its like practice parenting my 13yo daughter 'cept if I mess up I dont need to pay bail
Few days ago I bookmarked an article on techniques to defeat procrastination to read later. Sounds like the start of a joke but sadly...
Damn you fuckers used to give out stars like beads at Mardi Gras, now it is as if I'm asking for $100 and a BJ. Ffs 1 or the other is fine.
I'm not the hippie.
2) 20 yr old hipster missing classes because they are drunk is funny; a 50 yr old former hippy missing work because they are drunk is sad.
Life lessons learned returning as alumni to my fraternity: 1) You can't wake up hungover if you don't go to sleep.
Vaccinations wont make your kids less intelligent but not getting them says a lot about you.
I just deleted Facebook from my phone. I feel sick to my stomach. To be clear, the two are unrelated.
Somedays at work I fill up the sink and pour in extra bleach just so it smells like I'm by a pool.
First day on the new job!
Raptor riding zombie killer. Spinner of office chairs.
Like @jjherrick’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!