@chrisdude haha thank you for excusing it. i plan on watching it now, so thank you for showing me the light.

@marlomeekins but think of all the vines you can make

@marlomeekins i don't think you know what you're asking

He later showed us a photo of lasagna he said looks like "organic condoms"

Just saw a fight in the middle of the street in dc. There was hair pulling involved. It was like straight out of flavor of love

That awkward moment when you make eye contact with an attractive person and then proceed to walk straight into a swarm of gnats

Dad on his HS graduation: "My buddy snuck in a six-pack underneath his gown.. so I don't really remember"

"I don't even remember what I was talking about! It's a bathtub full of puppies!!" @meghanhope

It's sad that it took me 2 1/2 years to go to my first real college party. And then I only stayed there for like 30 min bc of hovering cops

I'm in historic Bath. The town, not an actual really old bath.

Dear Will Forte, I miss you on SNL. You were/are my favorite.

So excited for tonight! Going to Raleigh to see me some Avetts!!! Exclamation points!!