May the wifi be with you.

I'll say I don't care. I don't care.

Me; "Maybe I should go to sleep..." Twitter; "Shut the fuck up and keep scrolling." Me; "Okay."

Cop; "Why do you have a beer in your hand?" Me; "I was drinking it... ?"

I will only live once. I don't care.

Sir, you don't want to do this, put the unfollow button down and let the follower go.

Me; "Baby, we make a great threesome" Her; "What?" Dog; "Bark bark".

If a Jehovah's Witness ever comes to my doorstep again I swear.

I'll be young, wild and free. I don't care.

I could use the comfort of a grown, beautiful woman. Not a young, drama starting slutbag. In case you were wondering.

Her; "Are you high?" Me; "Is a pig's pussy pork?"

#S/O #SomeoneIWantToMeet @nerdsrockk @mistookmistake @maw_werck @marleegirlee @malacc97 :-)

Random shoutouts to... @3alexlynn @_arnesha @alicia_marieee3 @ambitiousmix_ @baybeeangee @isnitched4oreos @jleigh_marvin @joebarbosa22 !

I dont need perfect, I just need you.

You can tell me what I wanna hear. As long as its true.

"@canbelonely: It should probably make more sense but it doesn't."

#IllNeverForget the last time I was this bored. 5 minutes ago.

Its 140 characters... Whats the worst that could happen?

They call me racecar. Thats racecar backwards.

Drunk with thought. High on life.