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"Bigamy is a man having one too many wives. So is monogamy," Oscar Wilde
Brakeanoia: The urge to step on the brake pedal when you are riding in the passenger seat of a car
Give a guy an inch, and he'll call it a foot
Funny how on Twitter "people are following me" is a good thing: elsewhere it would be reason for a psych admission or a restraining order
I am a complete fuckup.
Dick Cheney NEVER apologized to the man he shot? Jeez, I apologize when I step on my CAT
I'm not bitchy. I'm selectively amenable. Unless you're an airhead. Then no.
My house is where random bits of paper go to die.
Stopped a doc from dosing a hospice patient with Fluconazole 500mg BID today. Yes, I AM awesome.
It's not a bad thing that I've been calculating lethal drug dosages in my head all day & matching them w/relatives ...right? RIGHT?
Charlie Sheen going to write memoir? Does he remember..anything??
Twitter keeps ur ass humble..either some1 will cut u down to size, or u will be stopped from using big, annoying words when u hit ur word li
The Mom injecting her 8yo daughter w/internet-purchased Botox should be arrested for child abuse. Seriously.
I have a cat who plays fetch with a toy mouse. He will play as long as u will keep throwing.Guess he missed the "cats don't fetch" memo.
Bad pick-up lines: I came over to talk to you because the voices in my head told me to.
If you have 9000 followers and only follow 16 of them, then you are an unmitigated ass.
NOTHING pisses me off worse than a size-2 chick wailing about her 'giant fat thighs.'
Shouldn't the psychics have seen this horoscope-change thing coming?
Ah, to sleep: perchance, to dream
Pill pusher (Pharmacy Tech)/EMT; sometime writer; cat herder. Single & sarcastic. NO, I can't get you drugs.