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Do not honk at me. I am obeying the laws of the road, sir. It is you whose goal today seems to be acting like a grade-A asshole.
I'm so tired, I might actually go to bed early instead of staying up late. [Starts to laugh hysterically, then starts to cry]
I hate commercials that pretend to be action movies. Why are you getting me all hyped up for a stupid reason?
It's disappointing when someone who you think of as a sensible person doesn't always have sensible views.
Not the power! Anything but the power! Please, storm, I beg of you!
Alright, bedtime. And by bedtime, I mean I'll stay up for another 2 hrs in my room, listening to music & let my imagination off its leash.
When a smell lingers in your microwave: [Inhales] Oh, yeah. Pizza was here. But it's gone now, 'cause I ate it. [Inhales again] Dammit.
I think my kitchen just farted. That, or a serial killer is hiding in my pantry and let one loose. If it's the latter, I loved you all.
I like to think I'm clever. And remotely funny. Don't we all? I also love to think out loud. Don't worry, I heavily edit the voices in my head.
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