YOU DID A GREAT JOB TODAY. YOU DID EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEEDED TO; EVERYTHING ELSE WILL GET DONE LATER. GOOD JOB!

DO NOT WORRY: by the end of today, you will have accomplished exactly the correct number of things.

$5 says there's some kid in Brooklyn right now who woke up using an hourglass as an alarm clock.

Hey: happy Easter Candy Is On Sale Day. Everything's priced in the manner He would have wanted.

Keep it up. You are loved.

YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB TODAY. Just think about it. You did. Night night.

Today's a big one, but all your tasks are small when broken down. JUST DO THE THINGS ONE BY ONE! You will accomplish so many things!

"I'm not saying you won't have to deal with some shit, but I am telling you not to take any shit, ever."--my grandmother to me yesterday.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB THIS WEEK. THINK OF EVERYTHING YOU DID. YOU DID A LOT! ENJOY YOUR NICE WEEKEND!!

REMINDER: YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB

My wish for myself and others is that we dream tonight of eating our ways out of houses constructed of the snacks of our choosings.

"No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world."--Wayne Dyer

You know what helps me feel free? Waffles.

Here: donate to @ppact #PlannedParenthood re: Komen pulling funding, OK?: https://t.co/VacyOjqW

Just had the weirdest, strongest sensory memory of crayon smell. Am not near crayons. Either I just earned a superpower or had a stroke.

Celebrating one year today with @mattlemay. No gratitude is great enough.

EVERYONE!! #TomThon is now!!! 800-989-9368 to pledge to @scharpling and #BestShow ! DO NOT BE A SKIMPER! SKIMP NOT! DONATE DO!

Today is a GREAT DAY TO START THAT THING YOU HAVE BEEN PUTTING OFF! You will feel so much better! Just take 20 minutes at noon & do it.

TSA lady, deadpan in front of x-ray of my purse w/a cylinder inside: "Do you have a burrito in your purse?" Me, also deadpan: "Yes."

Steps for you right now: 1) Look in the mirror. 2) Say, "I am doing a good job today." 3) Mean it.