Eat. Pray that you don't put on weight. Love.

He who laughs last has a slow internet connection. #NewAgeProverbs

At what temperature must I keep my revenge for it to be served cold?

It's easier to find true love than a good parking spot.

Have you tried turning her off then on again?

My phone just fell, I hope you guys are fine.

Don't mess with Women.. They buy a lot of shoes, and they're not afraid to fling some in your direction.

So many bra's on the TL.. Did they get best supporting role?

"I see what you did there." - Voyeur

Sonia yet sofa.

Shit just got real? As opposed to what? Unreal shit?

All that breathing..aren't you tired?

When someone spells out a word i like to pronounce it wrong.

Post Joke on Facebook.. Explain Joke to people.. Die.

'Torrent a Movie' is the new 'To Rent a Movie'.

Who would be a fool to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter once again? Haven't they watched the first movie?

Successful people are not okay with just okay.

If i win the Nokia Lumia from @homeshop18, I will sell it and buy a better Android phone. #LumiaFromHS18

Now waiting for the Micromax version of Samsung Galaxy S4.

"God made man in his own image.jpg"