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@joeschmitt
Joe Schmitt
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@joeschmitt’s (Joe Schmitt) best tweets
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RIP Google Buzz. The company reports they are shutting it down, which will impact tens of people.
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Next person who says "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" will learn that it's not my fist, but the impact.
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For Halloween I'll be a banker. I'll eat all my candy, all yours, then convince the government that if I don't get more candy we all starve.
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Either Facebook is down or Mark Zuckerberg just set everything to PRIVATE.
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So that turn signal for the last 2 miles did NOT indicate a lane change? Well played. I hope I don't meet you over a poker table, Tan Civic.
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For Halloween I'm going as an iPhone. I'll be the life of the party for a few hours, but then run out of energy and pass out on the couch.
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I'm so old and boring my safe word is STOP.
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Two more speedbumps on our street.
Now we're finally safe from terrorists.
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Well, the Mayans were close-- Oprah goes off the air in 2011.
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You know who sucks? Aggressive drivers.
And cowardly drivers.
And slow drivers.
And drivers who are not me.
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Obama said "This is not class warfare. It's math." Rick Perry disagreed saying "Math is just one theory that's out there."
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You memorized a few Bible passages. So? I know all the words to Stairway To Heaven but you don't see me boring the train reciting it.
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For Halloween I'm going as Facebook. Early on I'll reintroduce a long lost friend, then bore you with which Scooby Doo villain they are.
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On Halloween I'm giving out lemons to see if any kids make lemonade. Kids love life lessons even better than candy, right?
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Meeting an old friend for drinks after work. Hope he doesn't bring up that Farmville invite I ignored.
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Maybe we've been going about this all wrong. Maybe we should put straight marriage on a referendum and see what happens.
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So today people were trying to keep Twitter from working. I suppose that’s fair- usually Twitter keeps people from working.
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Is there a colored ribbon we can all wear that will make the economic crisis go away? You know, like we did to defeat terrorism and AIDS.
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Using a fax machine is easy. First get in your time machine and go back to 1983, then ask your secretary to do it for you.
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That Facebook notification should say "Joe Schmitt has been tagged in an old photo that he wishes had been lost forever."
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