Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 1,769
Followers: 5,909
Favs Given: 37,820
Favs Rec'd: 55,408
@joeschmitt's (Joe Schmitt) recent favourites. See who @joeschmitt favs the most...
jeninwyo
I typed "Johnson" twice today and both times I giggled...... Twitter has turned me into a 14 yr old.
@jeninwyo
3
joeschmittfactualfictionlesbeebe
kolchak
I just cut myself shaving and all that's coming out is coca cola. I demand to be canonized.
@kolchak
alinasmith
I love the sound of the patrol car loudspeaker telling the homeless drunks to get a move on in the morning. Smell. It's smell, isn't it.
@alinasmith
3
joeschmittMilo_Bloomvmarinelli
blondediva11
The penis mightier than the sword. Spacing: learn it.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
http://favstar.fm/users/blondediva11/given_to You should follow ALL of these people because they need validation desperately.
@blondediva11
5
toosweet4rnrjoeschmittBlondHousewifeeugemCroweJam
rondicasmith
If I don't ask for your opinion, why is it my fault I don't agree when you force it upon me??
@rondicasmith
4
joeschmittpenblethcravenheartA_N_G_E_L_I_N_E
jane_bot
My vibrator is a homosexual. She falls under the category of 'lipstick lesbian'.
@jane_bot
funnyoneliners
My final decision is... Maybe.
@funnyoneliners
4
joeschmittdarkdraggonamitnihaldjhotday
Wallaceh
Yesterday was lukewarm. Today is cold and dark. Nebraska weather is a lot like John Travoltas career. #fb
@Wallaceh
1
joeschmitt
redgita
"Honey, is this dress too low-cut?" "Depends... Do you have chest hair?" "No!!" "Then yes, yes it is."
@redgita
Smmythe
I'm never going to bitch about Mondays again. All mornings are straight up filth!
@Smmythe
7
joeschmittRussellfarianCroweJamdonkeyspoonBlondHousewifeslugworthyDixieAngel_
Astrogirl426
"My gf has inidcated she needs a 'moderatly good-sized ring'." Or what, she'd leave you? Do yourself a favor dude: GET OUT. NOW.
@Astrogirl426
2
joeschmittBettyLies
luvvieig
Twitter: Where folks STAY licking their own asses since 2007.
@luvvieig
1
joeschmitt
beccajoojoo
Discovered the downside of living with my boyfriend: sharing the property with his asshole brother. I will now write a hackneyed sitcom.
@beccajoojoo
3
joeschmittBettyLiesyouhas
slugworthy
I just told someone to use Preparation H® on the bags under their eyes. Even *my advice* is related to my asshole!
What's wrong with me!?
@slugworthy
13
BettyLiesTheBoshaCroweJambedheadblondejoeschmittavi1111factualfictionHisTigerLilyJeeNeeBeesanthonythomasfundrummerchickkambrockKarenuff
bananza
"Can you turn it down?" = most used phrase in this house.
@bananza
1
joeschmitt
sn0tty
Also: fried chicken for breakfast. Thank you.
@sn0tty
1
joeschmitt
FormerPolice
All persons who gave me a #FF thanks. I will send a large, no necked associate with money by your homes later. Around 1 AM.
@FormerPolice
6
joeschmittBlondHousewifekambrockbedheadblondepaul_shinntammyphinney
kolchak
I don't see why all these congressmen call each other "gentlemen" when "douchebag" is obviously much more fitting.
@kolchak
InSoOutSo
Please be patient, CBS is buffering.
@InSoOutSo
2
joeschmittRolandSlinger
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