@joesmithreally's (joesmith. Really.) most faved Tweets...
"Do you want to exit download manager?"
Of course not. I clicked the EXIT button because I'm lonely.
How are you doing?
Of course not. I clicked the EXIT button because I'm lonely.
How are you doing?
Friday shopping advice: If you can't eat it, hug it, fuck it, laugh at it, or learn from it, nobody needs it.
I think I just told a woman that I enjoy her both ways.
A more judicious use of words may have been in order.
A more judicious use of words may have been in order.
Why were condoms named Trojans instead of Spartans?
I struggle with the large existential questions.
I struggle with the large existential questions.
I'm not a morning person. Or a night person. Afternoon? No. I'm more of a 45 random minutes of any day kind of quasi guy.
You can't arrest me, officer. Smoking outside is still allowed in this city.
Don't change the subject. What I'm smoking is irrelevant.
Don't change the subject. What I'm smoking is irrelevant.
With the exception of certain yucky, fetish-driven activities, didja ever think you'd say, with affection: "I like having you in my stream?"
I suffer from a very rare phobia.
But, with steely will, a double dose of Xanax & 5 beers,
I was able to go out. In pubic.
But, with steely will, a double dose of Xanax & 5 beers,
I was able to go out. In pubic.
I told him I was impressed with his linguistic dexterity,
especially his perfectly-placed homophone.
We're dating now.
especially his perfectly-placed homophone.
We're dating now.
Sorry, new follower.
"Entrepreneur, Business consultant, Life coach."
That's the vapid trifecta, an unholy trinity of useless effort.
"Entrepreneur, Business consultant, Life coach."
That's the vapid trifecta, an unholy trinity of useless effort.
Passed by "Recombobulation Area" in the airport.
Not knowing how to combobulate, I assumed I couldn't do it again.
Not knowing how to combobulate, I assumed I couldn't do it again.
Clearing out books for Goodwill.
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" goes for sure.
Musta been someone else's, anyway.
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" goes for sure.
Musta been someone else's, anyway.
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