Anytime I hear someone say #Occupy protesters are lazy I just think that I'm grateful that Rosa Parks was too lazy to move her seat.

@joshschwartz76 Watching some show. Nerd becomes a spy, gets a hot wife... I think it's called How I Wish I Met Your Mother.

Two hands up! “@bitteroldpunk: Everyone in the I Hate Andrea Club raise your hands.

*raises hand*

#WalkingDead”

Hey iPhone, if I type shart I mean shart. Don't you censor me.

If Obama wins tonight and you are surrounded by liberals, there's a good chance you're getting laid tonight.

You may not be a zombie but I'd still double tap that. #nerdypickuplines

MONKEY! RT @alsboy I'm sorry but if this doesn't deserve a retweet, nothing does. http://t.co/Nc2BTeNX

@hager_badger POP GOES THE WEASEL CAUSE THE WEASEL GOES POP! #POPWHAT

“@jadedpunkdotcom: These These 11-Year-Olds Are Metal As Fuck  http://www.jadedpunk.com/post/50046625691/these-11-year-olds-are-metal-as-fuck …” CC: @blackgirlnerds @joinbbc

New glasses finally came in. It's like a whole new world.

@dappersteve Jelly baby, my good man?

It's Jenna-Louise Coleman's birthday! Excuse me while I rip out my heart and present it to her.

@nwahs086 Avenge us, brother.

@fucpk @yesyoureracist You know he's white, right?

@hager_badger  http://b.globe.com/177a4tz 

@blackgirlnerds Peace, love and brains.

My new goal for Spring is to go running in dress pants, a button up, a tie, my Converse shoes, and 3D glasses screaming "Allons-y".

#CommunieKaraoke time!  http://snd.sc/YbqVbZ 

It's ok to admire a women's beauty. It's not ok to harass her about it.

@dappersteve I hear that all the time.