Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You'll forget "deflate-gate" when the news learns of "inflate-gate," where I tried to explode my neighbor Eddie with a bicycle pump.
C.C.R.E.A.M. County Clerks Rule Everything Around Me
Ah, god, now I have to turn a page on the calendar, what a drag! Is there no end to the bullshit?
Remember when we used to have another hand where the phone-holder is now? That was such a neat time in our evolutionary cycle!
Our town is so poor we used to get terrorized by lawnmower gangs.
The "little" in Little Debbies is meant to be sarcastic.
Hey, fellas, a horizontally-striped tank top is definitely the way to go if you want to look like a French marionette.
A cop asked if I'd seen anybody selling LSD around here, so just for fun I told him, "Shh! The skies are filled with pickles!"
Dr. Dre says he's sorry for assaulting women. Still waiting on Ice Cube's apology for "Are We There Yet?"
Then one day Yogi and BooBoo realized they were wasting their time chasing pic-a-nic baskets; they were fucking bears, they could eat people
What's this "fat Jew" business? I thought Carlos Mencia was Mexican.
I used to date a girl who looked just like Megan Fox if she were having a bad reaction to a lot of bee stings.
Turns out "años" is the Spanish word for "years" & my neighbor was asking how old I am. So I can quit yelling "ONE! How many do YOU have?!"
I wish people wouldn't keep telling me to have a nice day. I don't need that kind of pressure.
They called it "Silly Putty" because really, what's sillier than adding a penis to your sister's Ken doll?
Like @john_e_catfishes’ tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!
Stats can't be shown as @john_e_catfish hasn't signed in to Favstar recently.