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LEGAL TIP: if you get pulled over & say "Is there a problem, officers?" like Eddie Murphy in Trading Places, the cop has to let you off.
RG3 has become so irrelevant people are going to start wondering why Andre 3000 is endorsing Subway.
I DVR Family Guy, American Dad, South Park and The Simpsons so I can still wake up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons. Suck it, adulthood.
I want to have a popular smell.
This clears up the mystery of whether Kim Kardashian has any buttocks.
Discount Double-Check Yourself before you Discount Double-Wreck Yourself.
If I was Victoria Justice I would be mega pissed at Ariana Grande's new career.
Follow-Friday one-stop shopping! http://mightyblowhole.blogspot.com/2012/03/zwolfs-neverending-guide-to-who-you.html … #FF
Rubik's Cube? Sure, I'll try tackling that, right after I finish figuring out how to work this PEZ dispenser.
Today I heard a guy on the street say, "It's chowder season, baby!" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
Ben Stein said Obama is the most racist president in US history on Fox News. Then he said "Bueller?" like 14 times in a row.
(reads inpsirational tweet)
Just watched a guy lose a parking place because he was fucking around, trying to back into it. So my day's all downhill from here.
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