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Tom Brady pissed with refs at last game.
Dude, after what you did last year, I'd shut up even if the ref threw a flag for double dribbling.
Yep, I hate Cleveland THAT much.
"We would like to pay you to leave and not coach LSU. It's $15 million"
"How exactly do we get the ball rolling and is the check ready?"
When I have old clothes to get rid of, I leave a full set in a public restroom and let people think a superhero's on a mission somewhere.
The Jerk Store closed, because everybody's streaming these days.
I used to do drugs.
I still do, but I used to too.
~ Mitch Hedberg
Oh my god. I just looked up the clock and realized I've been on here for three days.
Yeah, it's fun to put Bugles on your fingers like claws, but don't do it here -- this is a "Satanic panic" town.
NSFW? Hell, that's where I wrote it..
Twitter changed the stars to hearts because nobody knows what "time pissed away in the disenchanted ennui of modern life" would look like.
I thought I saw Tom Petty, but it wasn't him. Then when I said, "I bet you get that a lot," the lady got all mad.
When you think about it at all, what the hell did "kiss my grits" even MEAN?!
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