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Some news: I SOLD MY BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://t.co/u7maXQMa http://t.co/hT57X8fj cc: @dpd_ @tylercoates
Someone just accused me — quite indignantly! — of ripping off The Hairpin's Ask a Clean Person. I love the internet.
A Christmas Tree Cheese Plate Thingie (official term) done RIGHT. [via @cabotcoop] cc: @bobbyfinger @tylercoates @dpd_ pic.twitter.com/yxZjExWg
Oh hey @marthastewart I just sold my first book, "My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag… and Other Questions You Can’t Ask Martha" #yourmovegirl
THE PEOPLE ARE MARCHING WITH BROOMS AND MOPS!! I LOVE THIS REVOLUTION!! #wallstcleanup
.@countvoncount hasn't tweeted since Jerry Nelson died. I find that so crushingly, breathtakingly sad. #countingandcrying
Today's must read, from @thisisjendoll — Cat Marnell, the Internet, and the Cycle of Addiction http://t.co/ojzS76qs
Just watched a girl sneeze into her scarf. Twice. Get rid of your scarves, seriously, they are revolting.
My waitress just smiled and nodded approvingly when I asked for a side of ice with my wine. Seriously, suck it NYC. #raleigh
This is a thing I did last night: Shoved my chair back, stood up, announced "I fucking hate Salinger. I'm leaving." and stormed off.
Oh for crying out loud, really with this: "Lipstick is just like the women who wear it: It can be stubborn." I won't even link. Ugh.
Dear frond @tylercoates sent this thing 'Amazing Still Life Photos of Plants Used for Witchcraft' and now I am dead: http://wp.me/p2Xrlp-1Eak
.@theatlantic @slaughteram Homemaker is gender neutral and exists already. Related: I really wish you'd drop this whole tedious beat. #STFUA
(Overheard someone refer to the week's goings on as "that Boston shit" and am about to give him a face-full of that Boston shit via my fist)
Clean Person/Boston update and a request to help a victim of Monday's bombing: http://joliekerr.tumblr.com/post/48368458632/justsayjolie-roseanns-recovery-fund … Please share/RT/etc. xoJK
Being a clean person will make your beer taste better: http://joliekerr.kinja.com/perfect-head-joke-goes-here-468304402 …
So ... Ask a Clean Person is back! On @deadspin!! (Oh my God hold me I'm so scared you guys.) http://deadspin.com/help-how-do-i-remove-semen-stains-from-a-glove-453908671 …
Rebuttal: @milesklee is a nitwit and a deviant human. cc @blackbook @tylercoates #houseofcards4eva
I write about cleaning for Deadspin & Jezebel. It's a weird job. Would you like to ask me about your filth?: joliekerr@gmail.com
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