In Hell, everyone will be asking " Was it something I tweeted?".

It really doesn't matter if your tweets get re-tweeted or favored. What matters most is getting that shit off your chest.

My fantasy sports team consists of police, fire, rescue, & teachers getting paid millions just like the athletes.

The most liberating feeling in the world is when you don't give a shit about what people think about your tweets.

Never tweet for the benefit of stars or favs. Tweet because your content with being an idiot.

I'm a brunette big tit kinda guy, but sometimes I'll dye my hair blonde.

Gas this expensive should be snorted.

I'm torn between watching infomercials on improving your prostrate health and documentaries on Cannibalism.

Have you ever started a tweet & then stopped cuz it seemed inappropriate? Well, don't. All of us have issues. You aren't fooling anyone.

It's great to have a timeline full of people that make you laugh & bring a smile to your face. It really does make a huge difference.

I'm totally comfortable tweeting idiocy.

Popularity will out weigh talent every time.

If you know something's wrong, don't do it. It's a really neat option that's available to most of us in this country.

"Life is more vivid & putridly beautiful when it's cosmically sad"..said the Big Bad Wolf as he ravished Little Red Ridding Hood from behind

Insanity is when there is too much art going on inside your head.

They don't make people like they used to.

Everyone believes in something and is passionate about what they believe. Me? I just try not to piss the bed when I've had too much to drink

I've decided to diversify my portfolio by including lottery tickets.

A waffle breakfast & a little understanding in 1978 would've prevented most of these tweets.

I hope the invading extraterrestrials harvest some of our embryos & sperm. Contaminating an intergalactic gene pool would be nice.