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Generosity killed the bank account);
If I put my ear to my girlfriends vagina, I can smell the sea
Life comes down to two things, alcohol and probing aliens?
When I'm dead will I still get up to pee twice in the night?
Hi girls I'm Ben, and I'm relying on chloroform and rohypnol. #takemeout
Doing your own electrics is alot like playing operation, only the shocks make you jump properly.
Ronnie Biggs says crime doesn't pay. Haven't seen him working in tescos tho?
#ff@sheseemslegit she's gonna make me bacon sandwiches while talking utter filth to me
Unfollowing someone is really just admitting you got it wrong.
I fancy some right kinky sex tonight. That hamster better have it's cheeks empty