Generosity killed the bank account);

If I put my ear to my girlfriends vagina, I can smell the sea

Life comes down to two things, alcohol and probing aliens?

#FF @reelbigjim @tyrhondasaurus @sassypantssss @smuttercup @schmoodles @vodkamary @stellartwot @ok_get_serious @shanethevein @helensmirnoff

When I'm dead will I still get up to pee twice in the night?

What are your prawns eating @tescouk @morrisonnews @cooperativefood #FishFight #sustainablefishing

#FF @cosydunt @helensmirnoff @imaflyonthewall @missprofanity @mrsselfdestrukt @clare_innit @misslouisekay @missymoomorris @claire_mudie

Hi girls I'm Ben, and I'm relying on chloroform and rohypnol. #takemeout

Doing your own electrics is alot like playing operation, only the shocks make you jump properly.

After! pic.twitter.com/7OAVlNQcuz

#FF @aristotlesnz @_llamaface @tittesandbeer @failing_at_life @beelowthistweet @bitchymctits @dombelina @ivorgrumble @femin9 @juney1981

#FF @bjroute66 @queen_uk @essexfox @missymoomorris @clare_innit @cosydunt @claire_mudie @theriflesband @bitchymctits @1tortured_soul xxx

#FF @juney1981 @pheasantpluckr @jessicafancy @jadetuts @ilickbrains @siouxdonnem @bbcfootball1 @fluffysuse @ragekat @squawkmob

#FF @bjroute66 @_lump @lilpwoppa @bikiniflowers @sodomyclown @georgewhufc @bitchymctits @cosmicbadger @cosydunt @common_squirrel

#FF @a_bit_too_rude @excusemytweets @amuseboobs @_llamaface @failing_at_life @angryplumber @alyssa_jolie @mrsselfdestrukt @angrybritain

@mrsugarpants1 you've found the inbetweeners!

Ronnie Biggs says crime doesn't pay. Haven't seen him working in tescos tho?

#ff@sheseemslegit she's gonna make me bacon sandwiches while talking utter filth to me

Unfollowing someone is really just admitting you got it wrong.

I fancy some right kinky sex tonight. That hamster better have it's cheeks empty