*snaps out of 11 year trance* more like bad charlotte

let me call a buddy of mine who's an expert on dildos *ducks under table and rises wearing a fake mustache*

being a mom is tough *places groceries on counter* that's why i sold my kids

oops i fell *scatters dbz cards on ground* haha wow clumsy me *slowly picks them up as girls watch* good thing this isn't all of them

*slaps wrench around in car engine* this is gay lol

i just heated up 10 hot pockets but i'm only gonna eat 9 if any of you laaaadies wanna join me ;)

Air bud in the club gettin tipsy

Seriously the only thing I know about girls is they breathe through gills and eat dirt and stuff idk

#WaysToPissBlackPeopleOff hundreds of years of slavery and oppression?

[on phone] yes mom i'll be home by 8 *girl walks by* well you tell ZUCKERBURG that he gets 49% at 2.3 billion or he is OUT

*cute girl favs a tweet* oh my god

11 hours to stop kony

*Obama slides into kindergarten class* sup y'all, college is cool n all, but you know what else is cool? *puts on shades* electoral college

#4WordsAfterABreakUp wow, not cool, unfollowed

there's a dude on my facebook who sets up photo shoots of himself by himself and it's hilarious pic.twitter.com/LKGNaXxUZw

#DeleteYourTwitterIf u dont no the differnce betwene ur u'r an y'rue

i listened to the new green day and it is seriously a 40 year old dude with the mind set of a teen that got their phone taken away

what? hurting people are turning to prayer as a last resort to ease their pain? not while i'm on the internet at my mom's house.

ur under arrest whatever u say will be held against u
"hot babes"
lol wow here is my badge n gun welcome 2 the force

i remember the health cheat on gta 3 but i don't remember any of your birthdays lol