Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies. http://t.co/VyCybpUs on @theonion #ThanksSteveJobs

What do real people say about advertising? Wait, we don't care. Unless it's hilarious! http://bit.ly/gnME4n via @hansenwithane

I want to pitch Swiffer Sweeper and rebrand it as a centipede killing device. Tagline: FOUR FOOT HEADSTART.

I got a medal for being logged into a client's social media account and not accidentally posting something to it all weekend.

Snapchat and Poke aren't really great when you can't remember the message they sent you half a day later. Whoops, sorry @s4xton.

There should be a category of Netflix called "Narrated by Morgan Freeman".

Hey guys, @s4xton sent me a sext on the new Poke app.

Disregard all prior freaking out about Instagram:  http://www.theverge.com/2012/12/18/3780158/instagrams-new-terms-of-service-what-they-really-mean …

Thanksgiving 2012: 🐩👵👴🍗🍰🔥🚒😼

Who needs a man when you have an overweight dachshund to eat spiders for you?

I knew asking where I could find good photos of cats online was a stupid question the second it left my tongue.

"Proofreader" is not a job Mitt plans to create in 2012. #withmitt #amercia http://t.co/SRSaR7n4

Smells like someone's lighting up a Lip Smackers on this bus. Or burning a Cabbage Path witch at the stake. #toxic #metaphors

Minneapolis is like that city in Footloose where no one danced. Cc: @firstavenue @vita_mn

Well, I know that name. You looked tall, @mikerylander. Good job. http://t.co/e7rznB0x

Seekins is Warhol. #booksandbars Kinda.

Vote Vermin Supreme 2012: http://t.co/9HCjbjrY He's anti-zombie and pro-universal pony access.

You know what's the cutest? Couples in matching North Face fleece! -No one, Ever

I understand the irony of sharing this, but "Facebook friends, let's have a look in those lunchboxes." @josephscrimshaw http://t.co/aZuKGBRF

RT @studiosstudio: The Minneapolis City Scout has launched! Check it out at http://t.co/5JSZIZxY.