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Hey, girls with super sexy bathroom mirror profile pics, nobody looks good in a bathroom. That's where you're supposed to shit.
What if Jesus really did love you, but in a gay way? How would you turn him down?
When I think about it, I probably should've died from a heart attack years ago. But then I wouldn't get to eat anymore delicious Jumbo Jacks
Why did the horse have a long face?
Because his daughter was diagnosed with stage2 breast cancer : (
Whenever Facebook tells me that my friends changed their profile picture, I always think to myself, "Damn, I have some UGLY friends."
Since I have not had sex in a while, the sensation of urinating has become quite orgasmic.
My only pick up line is: GET IN THE FUCKING CAR YOU BITCH! Works every time.
The greatest trick the Devil ever played was getting a fat person to break a chair by sitting on it.
People shouldn't be afraid to name their baby Adolf. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen again.