@jorshuwah's (Josh S) recently faved Tweets...
My gf taught me this new position called "missionary". It's really good. I think were going to do it a lot now.
Gave my wallet to a police wallet inspector dressed as a hobo. Very convincingly undercover, he smelt like burnt pubes. And now he's gone.
Poster down the street says: 'Depositing rubbish: $750 fine'. Hahaha Well they can't fine me for depositing valuable goods! Idiots.
Almost crashed reading a giant RTA billboard w/ slogan: 'Drinking kills Driving skills'. More like 'Big billboards kill driving skills'.
what if God was one of us?
just a stranger on the bus
And it was the bus from 1994 film - Speed!
Would He try to hook up w/ Sandra Bullock?
just a stranger on the bus
And it was the bus from 1994 film - Speed!
Would He try to hook up w/ Sandra Bullock?
I find these people pretty exceptional: @fireland @kellyoxford @imaudihere @robhuebel @fatjew @rejecter @sucittam #ff
2
"As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I'll be there." "What's surer is that one day the sun will encompass the Earth and we'll all die."
genetically modified food is wrong. because scientists focus on the wrong stuff. did you know meerkats still can't juggle watermelons?
Some countries ban more than Australia. We should jump on the banwagon. Like banning the expression, "jump on the bandwagon". It's outdated.
A hooker with a heart of gold would still charge because she can't sell her heart because it KEEPS HER ALIVE, so don't ask for freebies.
Don't ever have a threesome with a ventriloquist and a koala. Because you might get tricked into thinking koalas can talk. But they can't.
Just caught two slices from the same loaf gettin frisky with some jam like I wasn't even there. Inbread mofos.
To be a good real estate auctioneer all you need is locution, locution, locution. But people forget that when you cross-dress.
You thrust the tip of your banjo at me. I parry. You scream "deliverance!" and attack. I parry. Ahhh the to-and-fro of duelling with banjos.
I'm sick of the Aus. government wasting money on education. I just saw a planet that looked like a giant watermelon. BUILD A GIANT JUICER.
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar