i am personally more interested in participatory paths of wisdom than the idea of passively receiving teachings from top-down

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile and strangely nearly all of them are in your dick

I just want brands to be aware that I am in a very desirable demo and I enjoy exclusive deals.

what are shrimp really up to, i wonder.

I have pinned almost the entire JosephGL+ClaudiaSchiffer shoot on Pinterest. You're welcome.  http://pinterest.com/excakex/provoke/ …

Stopping me to proselytize while I'm walking my dogs and holding a stinky bag o' poo is a guaranteed way to not convert me to your religion.

@rev_rev_rev_rev I want to push you into a fucking quarry

#ff me, for all the best jokes about occam's razor

it's pretty far-fetched to believe that people would gather around in awe for a monolith. that shit has got to be at least stereo for me

@sallyelegant jam is bread spread

@sallyelegant if youda worn feet sheets maybe you wouldn't have toesy trouble

@sallyelegant glasses as "see betters"

Please do not text and drive. Also don't brush your teeth with a cobra. Don't shake the tears out of your baby. This is a reminder to adults

Texted my entire contact list "take me to chuck e cheese" right before changing my number

Snow White and the Se7en dwarves

wish those 7 dwarves would bash MY head in with a pick axe

local private detectives have been busy answering endless phone calls with KFC customers asking "where are the bones? did i eat the bones?"

Hmmm, someone knocked this flowerpot off the windowsill. Obamacare, Jewmedia? *two cats trot in* Did you do this?

I don't really care one way or the other if the coroner puts cigarettes out on me.

Once my roommate left for work and came back less than a minute later and I was in the kitchen, naked, eating eggs out of a pan w/my fingers