• Ahoy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Do people who give their sexual partners the pet name 'baby' know what a baby is?

    • 402
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeatrumpthechumpJennyPentlandpantsPurpletimemsdanifernandezkatiiiie_RivRun
    • 178
    • RETWEETS
    00KarliRivRunmoniqueblanchettehgrlraymebolindseybhawkinsMosephine_burnettski92
    rorynotroyJakeNicholaslazerdoovchinspired
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I saw a guy who looked exactly how I want to look and he looked like an asshole.

    • 272
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeatrumpthechumprorynotroytnylgnmagaznerJasonBerlinSarcasticShark1BrokenZmile
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    stullbfkMentalPoisonJCook1819__TheOmegansAngel72792extremedignitymattonstadDeeliopunk
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I would never spank my kids unless they were acting really sexy.

    • 386
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeatrumpthechumprorynotroyanhonestmess______magaznerJasonBerlinHoytCM19JulieWahoo
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    StupidstephJenmarydunnJSultan92KevinKlausmanBachiBawlz________proemusicskyislow4thquatrain______
    victoriamramonSquirreljusticechinspired
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I'm really into texting while driving because I love the idea of my last words being, "Haha yeah."

    • 345
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSea_TheCitizen_rorynotroytnylgnPonylopetrumpthechumpJasonBerlinsuzytolen
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    trumpthechumpJamieJoyce4__drzieglerjakkiie1sharla_la21Penn__DenverForDinnerpuddaholic
    Ty_Schutz
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    "You're not my real ladder!" (me to my douchebag stepladder)

    • 244
    • FAVS
    IanWilliamztnylgnRohan_Cruyffanhonestmess______schizaeameeshy_minaj______RIDEtheJCABJasonBerlin
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    GnomeeyActuallyMitchmarkmullerysuperstrubyTmyakalweirdtwitsterrealcorg__________nik_maletic
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. Piss on my leg and tell me I'm pretty.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSearorynotroyXNediamanhonestmess______JasonBerlincutefianceeKseniaYSjessikacurry
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    rhinopissfavstar1000favsHurricane_TylerRockOnPatrickChosen4G8nesscollectdustjohnnymac_19jwlandgrebe
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    BUTTS WEIRDER THAN DICKS??? SCIENTISTS SAY NO

    • 221
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeatrumpthechumpemilykerfufflevery_tall_manmissmaynLexiesmells925studioLukeSkyWagaye
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    emilykerfufflesummerghostsoonkyuweird_vibesDamnItsTrillbro_no_wayyBitzmauricekuurri
    vladchocdonni
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Throw someone's existence into question by always doing finger quotes when you say their name.

    • 171
    • FAVS
    captain_tragedyDAM435ErinSitztrumpthechumprorynotroyRohan_CruyffRIDEtheJCABJasonBerlin
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    trumpthechumpmrtnprzben_kerseyfgmsalviaDickkLegssadbuoysandykisaragiBrownClown72______
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    If the girl sitting next to me doesn't stop smelling like freshly sliced pears she's gonna get some bad poetry written about her.

    • 211
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeaShrizzy610trumpthechumprorynotroytnylgnPonylopemagaznerJasonBerlin
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    RazeenaPalekarraneeqahMohdKaizer_SoZaydpurple_nerd11trumpthechumpartbymaltardTheLaughBankzannastevens
    chinspired
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Considering how fast the Earth hurtles through space, it's always an appropriate time to throw your hands up and yell, "Wheeeeee!"

    • 166
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlindataispluralJulieWahooorganizdchaos8BrokenZmileameo02jorgeinphxeatyourlasagne
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    ameo02vfxdeedagnificenteatyourlasagnepeterz3gLikeTheBookshophawkeyehaynesmisswolfe________
    clayloclarkekant
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    If girls were as pretty as other girls tell them they are on Facebook photos, holy shit, guys. They would be SO pretty.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    IanWilliamzJasonBerlinsuzytolenBrokenZmileaquickpinchsofisande________hailsth__________cutefiancee
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    LikeTheBookshopDot_McJimineyrebeccarufinSheriffScabsAwkwardKyle37letsgetgizzydanysosabmajooo
    M_Porfiri0
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Look, at this point, I'm just trying to kill the environment so thoroughly not even the robots can enjoy it.

    • 106
    • FAVS
    trumpthechumptnylgnatanenhausJasonBerlinbrendohareBrokenZmiledesignersaysmoshanke
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsdrewmarcus74kristin_tweetssharpieblamerXanderDavisLivebriBOTokononorOllie91
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    If my kids refuse to drink milk, I'm gonna break their bones in their sleep and tell them, "That's just gonna happen sometimes."

    • 157
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeajnblmnopDAM435trumpthechumptnylgnSmoothJamieMJasonBerlindataisplural
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    trumpthechumppeoplebeweirdvaporcoffinfavstar1000favsLittle_Lei_Oh_chickadeevacuppedcakesenderblock23
    inmynewskin
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    How many fistfuls of glitter should I cram into this envelope with my job application?

    • 145
    • FAVS
    trumpthechumpthenameisnatalimagaznerJasonBerlindataispluralBrokenZmileaquickpinchJulianaAbaunza
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    bdiddy923KouklamichellechadjknightChrisCaseyJrHeatbitTonitweets7vladchocbeadbooty
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I'm not interested in material gain like "getting pussy" but intangibles, such as "how that pussy feel."

    • 113
    • FAVS
    robbiegoodwintrumpthechumpjoshmorgan4evsaddoughnutjoedysseuslynzbarnesdo_randguffreh
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    Cvetocek6CarlWinslowwwGatsbyFlowvividdaydreamvinguy023TheeOnlyJBurkeRoseUSMCregicidejuggalo
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I have to stop calling the police every time I see a baby wearing dumb clothes.

    • 140
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSearobbiegoodwintrumpthechumptnylgnMPSeanmagaznerJasonBerlinGFGander
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    ilze_mKrista_Shepherdcutefianceeartbymaltardfavstar1000favslulusgirl888ImaFlyontheWalllaurencesmb
    laurencesmb
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    I'm in love! Wait. Never mind. I was just sitting in a really comfy position.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    trumpthechumprorynotroytnylgnmagaznerJasonBerlindataispluralBrokenZmilesofisande________
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Zigs26letsgetgizzyChjulianfavstar1000favsericagenerica____Shyempress_melancholiaFavstar500Favs
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Some asshole is crunching chips loudly in the library. Totally ruining the studying environment. TWIST: The asshole was me the whole time!

    • 137
    • FAVS
    rorynotroymagaznerJasonBerlinBrokenZmilesofisande________meganamramblowmanticLeemanish
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsLaurenRPjakeinsideAlexMunse____punkbluegrasszoeythegreatamberwrightmiketheknife007
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    So I've narrowed it down and I'm either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.

    • 131
    • FAVS
    SkankOfTheSeajackie85656250deskickboxtrumpthechumpJasonBerlinflacelleerin_hicksBrokenZmile
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHokibukevichdiscopigguG3T_0ver_ITDylaneasylifeLCCadeaufavstar1000favsStrumburglar____
    CandyCrisis
  • joseph_ocon
      DEFUNCT @joseph_ocon

    Whoa RT @buzzfeed Look At These Fucking Dogs, You Piece of Human Garbage

    • 122
    • FAVS
    JCrandlemiresanalassalinas_pedroJimFShakespeareflogletreekissthemachinesamhodappjulebop10
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    robbiegoodwinredsaraheadmdaniel54hbsnellingTheBrettWheelerliquebotnwalksWildBilbo
@joseph_ocon

@joseph_ocon

what the fuck is this shit?! I can't read this shit!