Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Where do babies come from? Mostly, NFL Players.
Can't believe this jerk in front of me is texting in a movie theater.
What all those songs of heartbreak don't tell you is how Taylor likes to be choked.
Squirrels don’t seem very decisive.
My heart goes out to all the families of adult wrestling fans.
I'll pay extra for the hairdresser comfortable with silence.
Sad to hear about the passing of Alice from The Brady Bunch, but I'm sure she's looking down, up and to the side, smiling.
I should just recycle last year's Earth Day tweet.
I can't believe they found the only 6 women who couldn't make a man feel guilty.
How Jewish is Los Angeles? My commute to work took 45 seconds this morning.
Snooki gave birth to another 15 minutes.
How loud do I have to sigh before someone asks me what's wrong?
Go homes, Romney.
I'm sick of being the guy everyone comes to when they want the money I owe them.
"My wife's a vegetarian, so we'll start with your most patient waiter"
This SNL sketch is way too long.
Americans now read Facebook more than the Bible. People who can’t stand being preached to still prefer the Bible.
Deleted a tweet about having no regrets.