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I wouldn't vote for Ben Carson if he were running for Doctor.
My favorite fairy tale is The Vegan Who Didn’t Mention It.
Why does Ringling Brothers have to phase elephants out? It's not heroin. It's elephants. They can't do it all at once?
Drake diss Meek Mill. Meek Mill diss Drake. Dreek miss Milk Meal. Dreel make Dick deal. Dick and Mick drink Milk meek filk Frake Dilk deel.
You know that six months from now Steve Jobs is going to release a better resignation letter.
I respect a cloud that just looks like itself.
Driving my son 2 school when we heard that the whole district is closed due to a terrorist threat. His response: "Damn. My hair's on point."
Hi. I ruined The West Wing.
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