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My favorite fairy tale is The Vegan Who Didn’t Mention It.
I respect a cloud that just looks like itself.
You know that six months from now Steve Jobs is going to release a better resignation letter.
Got message from my pharmacy saying they needed 2 talk to me. In panic I called them back, and they asked me whether David Rosen was shot.
Herman Cain has now denied more sex than I've had.
It's tragic that we'll never know how annoying Oscar Wilde would have been on Twitter.
“I bet I’d be good at that.” — James Franco, on everything.