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My favorite fairy tale is The Vegan Who Didn’t Mention It.
You know that six months from now Steve Jobs is going to release a better resignation letter.
Herman Cain has now denied more sex than I've had.
It's tragic that we'll never know how annoying Oscar Wilde would have been on Twitter.
“I bet I’d be good at that.” — James Franco, on everything.
I have raised my kids to believe that they can achieve anything they set their minds to. This is going to be hilarious!
Damon as Robin! Damon as Robin!
Maybe if I join Scientology my wife will leave me and take the kids.
Now that the GLEE 3D movie bombed, I hope that our young people will finally stop trying to be themselves.
O Lord, give me the superpowers to change the things I cannot accept with serenity. Amen.
My wife and I have decided to home-bully our kids.
If you've ever met a woman or a non-millionaire, please consider voting for Barack Obama in November.
We need a Schoolhouse Rock that explains to kids how Senators can defy the will of 90% of the country. What rhymes w "disgraceful cowards?"