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I will not murder my coworker.
I will not murder my coworker.
I will not murder my coworker.
I have found a place to hide my coworkers body.
Waiting in line.
Pull phone out of pocket.
Launch twitter.
Nothing new.
Open Facebook.
Immediately regret opening Facebook.
Turns off phone.
ಠ_ಠ No Java, I do not want to install the Ask toolbar. I don't care if you recommended it. It's a terrible idea.
That's it. The next car I buy is going to be a super-lifted Jeep with the biggest widest tires ever and a licence plate reading "SNOWLOL"
This is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever seen on the internet. http://t.co/n0tOzBZ2
Boss gave me his wallet to pick up lunch so I'll be in a non-extraditing country for the rest of my life in case you need me.
Walk into convenience store, it's early. Girl has butch hair, she's braiding some dudes hair. He's prettiest princess. Walked out. Slowly.
Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one except for February which does what it wants; Dad.
Such savings! I'll be laughing all the way to the bank! pic.twitter.com/Drk2IsThB7
@d20plusmodifier @dogmonkey94 @lerdavis NFS:MW - Long Chase (Astin Martin DB5) #DatDrift http://youtu.be/hYPZ8jrj5vU
Just realized that I left my Skyrim soundtrack cd in the player of my old car. I hope it brings joy/terror to the next owner.
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at the drive thru is just reciting the Magna Carta instead of ordering.
@lerdavis Computer files encoded on DNA. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/9821895/Computer-files-stored-accurately-on-DNA-in-new-breakthrough.html …
26. Misanthrope. My fancies have fickle tastes, and are difficult to tickle.
