@jppettinger's most faved Tweets...
Ninja assasin taught me that if you stab someone, a blood fountain appears. I guess ninjas all have high blood pressure.
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3 bathroom stalls, 3 people, 3 blackberry's being furiously typed on. *click* *click* *scroll* *fart* *click*
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There is literally a packed bar, 4 empty seats, me, then 4 more empty seats. I'm gonna need to switch to scotch soon.
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And I'm tweeting a lot cause I'm sitting at a bar alone waiting on a woman. Someone keep me company before I tweet more country lyrics.
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Ha! Foolish IT people. I create the errors on purpose! So I don't have to work while you try to fix it.
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I just read the closest thing to sex that can happen on twitter. I need to stop following people that are ,themselves, following each other
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here's something exciting, I've been retweeted twice. Ever. By bots. Named Ohsnap and inmypants. Because i said "oh snap" and "inmypants"
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also, boss did not find my finger-through-the-zipper distraction nearly as hilarious as my beer pong partner this past weekend.
4
Well, half of last nights dinner is on the neighbors lawn. Last time Mr. Johnston goes scotch for scotch with me.
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Magnetic poetry pickup line 1 "Is that a sausage in my pocket or would your clothes look great on my gorgeous?" Clearly I need some practice
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Email to boss:"you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong. Let me know if you'd like to discuss this."
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Breaking News: Iranian cyber army hacks twitter, people pay more attention to their families. Sources say the two may be related.
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I need to stop following @markdavidson, you're intellectual musings are making my tweets about video games and farting look even more inane.
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Thinkin of standing with the immigrant workers on the corner to make some cash this weekend holding a sign that says: Its okay, I have a SSN
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I'm sorry XM radio, but there's no reason for me to want to listen to playmates talk... I think you're missing the point
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Don't think of me as not having enough followers, but rather as a rising star that you totally discovered and followed before he got big.
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