Just scratched my butthole so good it made my eyes roll back and my toes curl. I get it now gay guys *smells fingers*...never mind

This dudes shirt is so tight I'm pretty sure he is wearing a onsie

It's never cool to see a dude dig out a wedgie....related: my fingers smell

HR: have u ever been the victim of sexual harassment?
Pope: no
Pope: wait u said Victim right?
HR
Pope
HR
Pope: no

- Pope exit interview

I strongly feel that @millerchels ass could cause world peace

@grantnapearshow by reading Wojo's tweet this making me extremely nervous. I hope you're right

I think I'm doing twitter wrong, cause thats what everyone keeps telling me

I give it a week before the pope commits twiitercide

Wrote a song about it, wanna hear it? Here it goes

There are no black people on the Jetsons

According to my morning BM, I had blood and corn for dinner last night

@littlejoedgs Tom Brady is Tim Tebows Judas

@dongeronimoshow @carmichaeldave @drewhoffar the stream is running commercials not the show

@shkeeber YOU WON TWITTER!!

@xgreenxmonsterx amen

@elhammer23 greatest tweet ever

Reading twitter while letting my car warm up has made me late for work.....again. You guys are going to get me fired

Facebook is Instagrams Yoko Ono

So let me get this straight, if I say I'm a girl who likes butt sex I automatically get 1,000 followers?

@jwilsonga nailed it