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394 tweets, following 294 people, 94 followers= 4 real friends? Did I do that right?
I wish some of the aspiring adult actresses would unfollow me instead of genuinely funny people and chicks with hot avis. #justsayin
Dont you love when you coincidentally burn one at 4:20? #potheadhappensenses
I think I get it now. You lose a follower for every hour you dont tweet? Or is it one follower per shitty tweet? fuck nevermind.
"Lets get this shit on the go" - me to my colon after too much cheese.
To all visible minorities - stop doing stereotypical things in broad daylight. You're actually helping the spread of racism. #justsayin
When I drive by people jogging down the street I like to tell them that noone is chasing them. #gooddeeds
That awkward moment when you fart but because you're wearing headphones you subconsciously assume noone else heard it!
Do you ever think anything you dont tweet? #fingerdiarrhea
#backwheniwasakid i wore rubbers to prevent pregnancy. Now i wear them for stamina. #ejaculatestoosoon
Thanks to all the aspiring internet whores and their fake twitter profiles, I am now back up to 90 followers #justsayin
Sometimes my vowel movements turn into verbal diarrhea
Est.1983 Don't follow me, I have no idea where the hell I am.