@iamcolinquinn you make absolutely no sense when you tweet. Write it down first. Say it aloud. If it still makes sense to you,don't tweet it

394 tweets, following 294 people, 94 followers= 4 real friends? Did I do that right?

@stevilthoughts me too....only all leathery and well broke in!

@pirate_nurse amen!

I wish some of the aspiring adult actresses would unfollow me instead of genuinely funny people and chicks with hot avis. #justsayin

Dont you love when you coincidentally burn one at 4:20? #potheadhappensenses

I think I get it now. You lose a follower for every hour you dont tweet? Or is it one follower per shitty tweet? fuck nevermind.

"Lets get this shit on the go" - me to my colon after too much cheese.

@toni_goldsetin thanks for all the faves. Not even close to the gold you lay down though. Still much appreciated!

To all visible minorities - stop doing stereotypical things in broad daylight. You're actually helping the spread of racism. #justsayin

When I drive by people jogging down the street I like to tell them that noone is chasing them. #gooddeeds

That awkward moment when you fart but because you're wearing headphones you subconsciously assume noone else heard it!

@toni_goldsetin i thought funerals were a celebration too!

@toni_goldsetin I didnt want to yell you because you are hot and funny but you just miss quoted training day. Aint got Shit on me. Sorry

Do you ever think anything you dont tweet? #fingerdiarrhea

#backwheniwasakid i wore rubbers to prevent pregnancy. Now i wear them for stamina. #ejaculatestoosoon

@jungletrained Sincerely....thank you

Thanks to all the aspiring internet whores and their fake twitter profiles, I am now back up to 90 followers #justsayin

Sometimes my vowel movements turn into verbal diarrhea