Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Judge Tip: It's not judging when you know deep in your soul that you're just simply that much better than everyone.
By God, Twitter's Right! It really is me!
But how in the hell can you tell if I don't have my location turned on!
Why don't I just admit I'm better than you, or is that painfully obvious?
You're only watching "Glee" if you get caught.
Members of the Blue Man Group are really just tall, emo Smurfs.
You'd think female judges would like their juries the same way the like their men, but not all of them like hung juries.
It's been over half an hour now, and I'm telling you, none of this shit makes any sense when you read while standing on your head.
Who me? Trying to learn all of Travolta's dance moves to "You Should Be Dancing" from Saturday Night Fever. Come on, like you aren't.
I may not know what love is, but I sure know what skidmarks in underpants look like. And these AREN'T mine, or they don't look like mine.
It appears I missed the breast that Twitter had to offer by wasting a day at this thing called work. Damn job.
There's a hole in my bucket list, if Dear Liza Minnelli won't make me one of her future husbands.
Sharks don't celebrate People Week so we shouldn't feel the need to name one of our own weeks after them.
"Do you have WIFI?"
"No, we have conversations?" Really?
Oh the thing's you would do. Once you realize you're to the point that you would rather fuck a shoe.
I'm fairly certain I just set the record for awarding the most Trophies today but it turns out I haven't bought the extra features.
I'm horrible with names, so I always hope people know "That one dude" & "Bitch Tits" & "that one person stuck in the wood chipper".
I see that Freddie Mercury is trending. I hope he didn't die again.
I wonder: George Clooney. Kris Kristofferson. Doug Henning when he was alive. That guy's shoe. I'd probably let them all fuck me in the ass.
Somewhere there has to be a website that shows the number of followers Lebron James has in Cleveland. It could be lessthanzero.com
How many times can you masturbate to Lady Gaga before you should consider calling the cops?