@juicymorsel's (Who Knows) most faved Tweets...
He looked me straight in the eyes and said "My password is muledick."
And I'm thinking "That should pretty much open a lot of things."
And I'm thinking "That should pretty much open a lot of things."
I feel bad for laughing. A friend's husband hurt his knee skiing. He tripped. Over a little girl. Getting off the lift. See what I mean?
16
Absolutely I burn my bridges behind me! It’s the only way to ensure I don’t try to make my way back in a moment of drunken weakness.
16
Often I give stars liberally. Without stopping to think. That it looks like I put a cherry atop your blowjob joke.
15
I read all your tweets. And I know to keep a safe distance. Definitely covering my ass. You people can’t be trusted.
15
Men too interested in sex may be diagnosed with "hypersexual disorder" under new APA guidelines. Women will still be called “whores.”
15
Researchers say people who complain of boredom are more likely to die young than Southerners who say "Hey y'all watch this..."
13
Something is wrong with my display. The tweets are blurry. More difficult to read. Since I took that muscle relaxer. With beer. An hour ago.
12
I want a superpower. But I don't want to use it for the common good. And no funny costume. Or sidekick. So I'll settle for a Twix.
12
Fresno is declared the nation's drunkest city. Saddened again to learn I live in an under-performing city.
12
Twitter needs colored stars, like grammar school. To signify ones that make you think, ones that make you laugh and ones that make you pee.
11
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar