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Two and a Half Men. One Cup. #evilsitcoms
Thinking of being the first person to get hit by a Google bus. This one's for my city.
Golden Shower Girls #evilsitcoms
I like doing comedy and being a comic. I'm poor though.
I'm trying to expand my vocabulary and it's going... alright. Fuck!
Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm #evilsitcoms
Sometimes I just yell, "WORLDSTAR HIP HOP!" because I'm constantly fighting my demons.
Just saw a really, really buff dude sneeze.
Javelin catching #RejectedOlympicEvents
I drink so much bourbon that I literally sweat Bulleits.
Most people have good hair days, but I'm having a good hair life.
I'm 27 now, so all you comics who are older than me and have less years of experience than me can go kill yourselves now. I'm the king.
So cool to be from SF considering the city's contribution to music. Stroke 9, Third Eye Blind, Counting Crows, and don't forget Train. Wow.
If you're a white dude moving to SF, don't forget your boat shoes and Asian girlfriend!