Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you were in doubt that our phones are more addictive than drugs, I have never laid on the floor of an airport to recharge my cocaine.
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
If James Bond were black Adele would be a Bond girl.
Sundays are just a great day to relax, do nothing, and let the ocean of anxiety whip itself into a tsunami.
"People want to drink a panic attack." -- inventor of 5 Hour Energy
I'm worried "the Internet" was an experiment and we all failed.
Ugh stuck behind this ambulance going 90 mph
Kurt Vonnegut is hands down my favorite author to pretend I've read.
I can't decide if I should get an XBox 1, a PS4, or help raise my daughter.
Kim and Kanye's baby is in the nursery trying to switch her name tag with any other baby.
If you try to shoot Rick Ross and miss a dozen times, maybe rap assassin isn't your true calling.
After sex I walk away in slow motion as she explodes behind me.
"Welcome to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory! Your wildest dreams are about to come true." Willy Wonka
"Cool. What's the WiFi password?" Me
When Romney talks I get the same feeling I get when Old Navy tries to convince me they really have the coolest Fall fashions.
Genetically speaking I suspect I have more in common with a koala bear than I do with an Olympic gymnast.
MySpace just bought an old Polaroid camera at a yard sale for 8 bucks.
Our country is the kid who wears a shirt in the pool.
The calories from Girl Scout cookies don't count because they're for charity.