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the pilot said i can watch married to medicine with him in the cockpit
people with greasy bangs at the airport, stop trying to be a hero
babies in suits look like little pilots
baked ravioli will not give you diarrhea in fact it is quite the opposite I LOVE YOU ST LOUIS
in st. louis i'm an 11
downside to flying southwest is i can't watch married to medicine on demand
"we'll be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet, passing over the rockies and my ex wife sheila's house, fuck you sheila, you bitch"
the LAX toilet sensor is two minutes of pure bliss, honey we're moving to the airport
tsa checked my top knot
your aunt is wearing spanx under her jeans
funerals at churches are fine because there isn't any audience participation
and with this next trick, i'm going to save you all a lot of money on car insurance
"rats, or as they're more commonly called, night squirrels" - david attenborough
how come amazon employees can bring their laptop to the washroom with them but when i do it i'm "a disgusting loser"
one nice thing you can say about meghan trainor is that she's doing her best
singer-songwriter lenny kravitz | co-author: stats canada: satire on a national scale: http://amzn.to/16GLq7e
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