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Ways to beat the heat:
-Say "oh my" a lot
-Embrace the sky demons inside you, burst into a flame bird, fulfill your destiny
my puppy loves sniffing around sage and lavender how do I make sure she doesn't move to missoula
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream when we discover the cone is full of bees.
A fun way to use a time machine would be to get your younger self to text your older self: "Hey running 5 - 10 years late on life goals sry"
PILOT:[over intercom]...your captain speaking...is this what i sound like? yikes. anyway let's go to *reads smudged palm* Cleepland
Bartender: [slides Mr. Tambourine Man a whiskey] Compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar.
[Piano Man makes eye contact, nods]
Dear Billy Joel: I feel the rhyme "Grumpy Cat, Pizza Rat" merits the recording of a new verse of "We Didn't Start The Fire." Thank you.
Sang along in the car to prove to the kids how very cool Dad is. Yes, falsetto parts, top. https://twitter.com/currentplaylist/status/645707509336944640 …
APPLE BOARD MEMBER: You’re fired, Steve.
JASON STATHAM AS STEVE JOBS: [friggin karate chops the whole board unconscious] I fink not.
Been waking up at 5am so I sit around and watch the Eagles documentary with my puppy. My life is great / completely out of control.
Another day, another public transportation system that assumes no one dresses for the weather.
Senior Digital Producer @MPR, Internet gazer.
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