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Seems like Dennis Rodman could just shoot his buddy over in North Korea a text and smooth things over for Seth Rogen and James Franco.
Dying to hear your CONFIDENT opinion about what this multinational corporation should do against this clandestine attack by a hostile gov't.
Sony is like the mom who cancels Halloween because she heard a rumor that there were going to be razor blades in the candy.
All right, North Korea, what movie *should* I see? 'Cause you guys are pretty much my Rotten Tomatoes now.
Yes, I did go to clown college. But it was on a football scholarship.
If I ever call you "chief, champ, or boss" I have a very deep disdain for you.
The logo for Au Bon Pain should be a guy in an airport speed-eating over a garbage can.
I love some of you, but you're still collectively the people who sat around and did nothing as I went bald.
Is "Kitchen Inferno" the show where contestants run inside burning homes and create gourmet entrées before succumbing to smoke inhalation?
But I can't help but wonder what sneaky provision is being snuck into a 900 pg bill while we're all out asking police not to kill us anymore
It's truly amazing what Abraham Lincoln accomplished while wearing such a big stupid hat.
I still haven’t buttoned my pants back up from Thanksgiving.
That's right, movie alcoholic, knock over those empty beer cans. But don't get your foot stuck in the lawn chair! Ah shit look what you did.
You didn't have to draw something fancy in my latte. Did I not mention I was just going to drink it?
Swinger parties sound bad because even the idea that my keys are touching all those other people's keys is gross and weird.
This morning on my way to work I realized I might be sexually attracted to the Pep Boys.
Just once I want to see an obituary end with, "Screw charity. Our mom died. Send us some god damn flowers."
I worked at Sony Music as an advertising writer in the mid 90s. I hope the hackers don't find my emails relating to Our Lady Peace.
Holiday tip: freak people the fuck out by wearing a surgical mask at the mall.
Writer for Family Guy and now Dads on FOX. Frequent bathrobe wearer.
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