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Fiat: Isn't it time you spend all your money on a joke car?
How has online pornography not embraced the domain .cum? This seems like a no-brainer
Wait-- I just remembered! They never showed us Bin Laden's body!
An alternate title for "Girl, Interrupted," could be "Girl, Continuing To Talk, Louder, Over You."
The mind-body connection is terrible news for my body.
I'd give anything to dance with my father again. (He just went to the restroom.)
Got a nice bulge for any ladies that wanna help me rub it out.
(Got a herniated disc, bulging & pressing on my nerve & need a massage)
I'm six years sober today. As you can imagine, my 4/20 six years ago was chill as hellllllll
"Laundry", by my husband. Wash clothes, dry clothes, leave clothes in a wrinkled heap somewhere until wife breaks down and folds them.
Makes me laugh pretty hard to think someone's definitely sent a text saying, "8:30 Blart work for you?"
The second weekend of Coachella feels like a text from a one-night stand.
Sorry I'm late I was on the Internet trying to get a stranger fired.
I'm glad I don't have to date birds because I have no idea which ones are even hot.
has any rapper made fun of another guy by comparing them to the slime that builds up inside Sonicare toothbrushes? seems like a good area.
What the fuck is a Peabody award and can only nerds win it?
Mike Tyson was such a prodigy at 14 he sparred and beat up a grown man in his 20s. Think about the rest of that man's life after that day.
My wife's out buying a hat. I've never been more nervous.
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