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Mortdecai was an inside job
This whole thing is just another bump in the road for Suge. (I don't want to do this anymore)
I'm glad my grandmothers never saw how I eat a burrito.
Fair is fair- if you now have to steam your vagina, I have to start ironing my penis.
Husband just told 9YO she has eggs inside her body, and she demanded to go to the hospital to have them taken out. Thatta girl!
Tom Petty's case against Sam Smith is basically, "He stole my incredibly lazy melody and chord progression!"
Not sure about the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina steaming, but it's probably so you can secretly open it, check the contents, then seal it back up.
Never come visit me in the hospital. I didn't want to see you when I wasn't dying.
I was on the fence about suicide until I tagged a celebrity in a conversation they weren't part of.
Most of the time when I say "without further ado", I'm giving you more ado. I'm a damned fraud.
The NFL is just an elaborate front for a secret contest between all the owners to see who can look and act the most like Mr. Burns.
I hear New York is expecting up to 30 inches of texts from my mom.
Wake up people, Dolph Lundgren is most likely probably named ADOLPH Lundgren!
There should be two Brad Pitts. One that lives a life and one for us, that we can fuck around with and bring to parties, like a Stanley Cup.
Don't forget to spice up the title of your hot sex book with the word "Gray."
I can honestly say that I feel like my sojourn into "showbiz" has been a huge waste of my life. Might as well enjoy where it leads I guess.
What came first: the name Craig or the puka shell necklace?
Oh, I'm not quiet, I just don't want to talk to you.
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