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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • IAmMaggieMull
      Maggie Mull @IAmMaggieMull

    How to spend the next three hours:
    1. Find a girl on instagram who is a prettier version of yourself.
    2. Study her.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    syncodropMegWehrleSteveDutzyDr_DmotimtimmanleyLHGarrettnativeminnowIamGillianStein
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    brandonbeemishmahkomaticDrunkBoysBBQ_pgv_Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • trumpetcake
      Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake

    "Your Honor, may I approach the bench?"

    "My name's Philip and this is a graduation gown I found out back of Arby's."

    "Motion to dismiss."

    • 75
    • FAVS
    DanBurtaligarchyAshley2BowslahlahlouDamienFaheyLaurelHookerRealGabbyHayesDanKCharnley
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    bananagrvyrdRandy_VTECbrittnoirhellomrdoorgailisawesomeGanbare_Gincunlewisrobssalmonsamstew
  • mrbenwexler
      Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler

    for a worthless piece of shit, I actually have pretty decent self-esteem

    • 46
    • FAVS
    MarkDWernerCabetoMejiaAshley2BowsDjrojas23Mon1caLouisegogokatzillavolatilewavePutinsLostShirt
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    gisselolazabamelaniejade_WKarlRobertsonadamsick10rachelscarlett2FuckShitFartAJMooreheadKyleSuddreth
  • kylekinane
      Kyle Kinane @kylekinane

    I still can't figure out what "Syriana" was about.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    CabetoMejiancfdchief1DylanHSheltonbrandonabrams_hootzerikheaneyStr8GuyGayQuotekevinito78610
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    thibaultbrockTheStoShowjkdalsethIanDeetzcinefelixPhilErnstes1rossnegliaLanceStargrove
  • mrtimlong
      Tim Long @mrtimlong

    Still hoping Dose Nuts will enter the race

    • 40
    • FAVS
    MauiTexanJohnMarkowitzSaintJamesWongLeeAdkissonIgnite_2_eXciteSCbchbumKaraDTweetsGigglesHard
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Ignite_2_eXciteSenorManagementGigglesHardjosephstannardrusselwilson042dpeacock980CurtisHoward64_Do_I_Know_You
  • DaveKingThing
      Dave King @DaveKingThing

    what's the BEST case scenario for these air shows? planes fly around?

    • 105
    • FAVS
    Ashley2BowsTourDeFrancoeurzachsmaltbrittanygroganalexnjacobsshean88mikeredddsirisola
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    benkinonenshoolessdannyIzKhalifaainsy79djphillimel_petezombiologisttheemikenewton
  • DamienFahey
      Damien Fahey @DamienFahey

    Remember that night we all went to sleep, woke up and every cocktail suddenly became 15 dollars a piece?

    • 326
    • FAVS
    latchkeyboyPRGirlCamillecodyontheradioanguerre2011foxmoxlaker71965Carrawayswayfantasesay
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    therealjayskiSeddonSeymourKatie___WrightDaisey27cd682kristensolanJakkiMac21Carl_Good2seeU
  • AndyRichter
      Andy Richter @AndyRichter

    Made waffles for bkfast & I'm not high but I just had a stoner moment of "Dude, we're pouring tree sap on our food!"

    • 693
    • FAVS
    Kasper_Raglusshmicahfarrar_indiaTilt_A_SquirrelSharkFlynnSoupfischer8706jamisonshaferNoobJuice
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    Carl_Good2seeUPoxHolidayShegingerWrightWolfeBenjamminTaylorWillSeattledimitridelafielVladRudisteanu
  • DamienFahey
      Damien Fahey @DamienFahey

    Crossed my legs, locked eyes with a guy in a Vietnam Veteran hat, slowly uncrossed my legs.

    • 282
    • FAVS
    spinfreezonemelgaboredMagYamartinoCabetoMejiaMon1caLouiseJacko_WalzCarrawayswaybrittanycomak
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    spinfreezoneBitterBetty_BaokarimAt_DGCChrisslaughter_Gingerbb143BenjiorbFavstar250
  • mrbenwexler
      Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler

    Douche jousting (two selfie-stick owners running at each other full speed)

    • 14
    • FAVS
    CabetoMejiaKasper_RaglusMindless4MilesbananagrvyrdjuliussharpehotmessexpressxDaveWeaseljoshcorey9
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    king_sloshBlueSilver_321beaterbarkerbananagrvyrdhotmessexpressxhcm_3c_vineyard
  • ChrisRRegan
      Chris Regan @ChrisRRegan

    All items removed from Gene Simmons' home to be stored in officially-licensed KISS (tm) Evidence Bags.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    hotmessexpressxstacymarksandrewhibbardmumbleslamYYZJJRandyOfAFTimesNouveauCheapbilnsof4lyf
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    crazyswimparentcbgb84moriya2k2bonnystilllasergirl70TScottBrave
  • DamienFahey
      Damien Fahey @DamienFahey

    Lotta Apple Watches just sitting on the top of dressers at this point.

    • 331
    • FAVS
    MargaretMenefeeCabetoMejiacodyontheradiozaintattsMorelliRamblesHopeChristineCarrawayswayaugie_girl
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    therealjayskiaugie_girlabuwadie3WakeBroadLastNameMackNoThoughtsHereCJBarqueroTaylorKorth
  • joshcomers
      Josh Comers @joshcomers

    Now Jared’s wife is leaving him. Another divorce you can blame on the kids.

    • 944
    • FAVS
    Michael_DottsCogitoetheDanLawlerMykaFoxanthonyalopezFils62FilsInIn40MattieSantil36
    • 405
    • RETWEETS
    greysweater83CT_BrennanjlzoccoliDenise12686AcuppaJoe61yungblackmdJuicyJamisonThomasJWaite
  • IAmMaggieMull
      Maggie Mull @IAmMaggieMull

    If someone writes an article called "30 Things I Learned When I Gave Up Social Media", they haven't actually learned anything.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    CabetoMejianwallllsTheCatWhisprerCrookCountyREmarshallwJessicaPilot212UniqueDude2TheBryanPowell
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    Truth_Quest30marienegativtheetravisbailsCollhaggsstealingapplesWoolfolk12JessicaMeszaroszombeatz18
  • JennyJohnsonHi5
      Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5

    I can't imagine the hours spent cleaning crumbs out of Jared Fogle's keyboard before detectives could finally start looking for child porn.

    • 334
    • FAVS
    LindseyProdoehlBrianJustSayingchristiegrayAGBouveAlexaMXCloribuckmajorw_hammonsDSkyDLimit
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    devon0RainBloggedItAGBouveDouceyDBSIZEMORE29djmastavMariss_3hotmessexpressx
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    I like when a football team has a wheelchair-bound former player on the sideline to show that they've learned nothing.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    notmargot663CabetoMejiastiiiingLizHackettJennyPentlandKaylinNeelyDeandraLalondemaddoxpro
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    notmargot663CabetoMejiaAShahaha95amanofyodreamspambcloudmrwenzel13RoyalDaytonpaulisrad
  • mrtimlong
      Tim Long @mrtimlong

    They're called "progressive lenses" because they bake their own bread and support Bernie Sanders

    • 45
    • FAVS
    JohnMarkowitzCazjelYourComicMusehudsonhongomelgaboredzarascottioRebeccaARincondaplusk
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    mkiosdeveloperSEngland33Kristi_OlsonBeeCeeIsHereDeborahPuetteKevbo11sarabeeemicheinnz
  • DaveKingThing
      Dave King @DaveKingThing

    hi i have an unpopular opinion:
    never met fat jew but I do think it's possible for plagiarists to be good people (e.g. MLK, Goodall, Biden).

    • 13
    • FAVS
    KaylinNeelyjuliussharpeBestSeanRdanielprydejwolfpdxaDavidPmattcorbett24helytimes
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    KaylinNeely
  • kylekinane
      Kyle Kinane @kylekinane

    Think of how many people are unloading their hidden anti-Semitism by saying "Fat Jew" with complete disgust every chance they get right now.

    • 271
    • FAVS
    CabetoMejiajmckkRoyerd14LroosephinaAJRothertClickholeORnotjwattenhoferzachdietsch
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    snarkofthebeastRyDaddyEfflauraalinkFavstar250Ersilia01pinktink49BJ_ahnzoMisterStealie
  • DamienFahey
      Damien Fahey @DamienFahey

    I threatened four people at a party last night by saying, "Let's do dinner soon."

    • 574
    • FAVS
    BrianaRuthieskylarmadison13MourningGlory_Mon1caLouiseram5477culanokeefe718over_ratedsunzdevil
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    skylarmadison13Pritty_PrissyMourningGlory_stellah567edana_irishDr_powpowCarrawayswayabuwadie3
    jane_bot

Julius Sharpe’s Recent Discoveries

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