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Tim Kaine is the human equivalent of when you want a burger but you get a salad
working on a dystopian-future sci-fi novel set in the next, like, six months
If a late night show booked Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato Jr. and Kimberlin Brown as guests it would be cancelled that night.
I roll dice the "long way" by swallowing them then waiting.
Vegas odds that Bernie Sanders's endorsement ends with the words "...I guess"
Looking forward to my mom's first unvoiced thought
Stalin also had a jewish daughter by marriage, and people don't really celebrate him for his tolerance.
I feel like I could get a $50 million NBA free agent contract just by spelling my last name, "Golodic."
Instagram is just really documentation that I only own like 3 shirts.
"This Tarzan is a real vine star!" -- Chris Regan, reporting for Chris Regan's Movie Magic Minute
Prominent figure in the bald community. If I die, please unfollow.
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