Love hurts. But only the first time when taken from behind without lubrication.

Guys, who spell "mine" as "mah" were sexually abused during puberty.

I follow people with less followers in the hope that they will follow me back and we will get hooked up and make beautiful babies.

I hate when people take too much time to reply. Move your fingers, stop typing like middle aged aunties in state bank of India.

http://t.co/MIwDg5HR @englishwhirled

Sharks bite only when you touch their private parts.

I was pure as a dove, Internet ruined me.

Me: Oye Chinki! Where are you going?
Stranger: Have some respect for Indians from North-East.
Me: Uncle! He is from China.
Stranger: :|

The reason why we have less instances of Teen Pregnancies is because teens are busy preparing for #IIT.

My orgasm lasts exactly 5.6 seconds.

During a long fart, quiet often my farts massage my prostate giving me an orgasm. •_•

If a friend ever catches you rubbing lemons in the ass crack, just say that lemon juice prevents discoloration.

Amir Khan is the new Oprah.

In India kids don't get bullied in locker rooms because in india schools don't have locker rooms.

How to kill a female vampire?

Use silver condoms.

There is so much similarity btw MTV & Sushma Swaraj, they both clog my TL with "watch our roadies video" "watch my lok sabha video" tweets.

Humans were leading a peaceful life but then clothes were introduced and they ruined it.

Sometimes, all you want, is someone to hold you tight when that song plays on the radio.

In the end you are all alone in this crowded world.

Family produces children who conform and submit to the society without questioning the authority.