Live everyday more sassy than the last - Socrates

Me irl flirtin w babes pic.twitter.com/o1bfTAEMOK

well what the fuck is wrong with u if u think I'M going to see a spiderman movie without TOBEY AND KIRSTEN in it u dummy

party tip: screenshot and print out some of your tweets and hand them out to hot people

feet are very cold
hands are also very cold,
poor circulation
(A haiku)

something u should know about me is that i never judge based on personality all i care about is whether or not u have a nice butt

late nite twitter is fucking terrifying

I don't want to live in a world where croissants don't exist

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me) - Shamu

just want to get drunk and cry lololololololol

I'm going to bike 36 hours straight to sxsw and then I'm gonna rage

A hot summers day, outside w/ friends eatin grilled cheese. Ur mom brings out Pitcher Of R Kelly's Urine. u see R Kelly at the door grinning

how the fuck is chet 32 I think chet is SEXY and still i was convinced he was mid 40's. ANYWAYS ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA chet.

Do u prefer swaggy or swaggie?

Just saw a vine of someone peeing

bit concerned because my voicemail message is just me saying "leave me alone" and i recorded my name as "kanye west"

"Siri, I'm sad" - me

"BILBO, HOW MANY LADIES ARE YOU BAGGIN" holy fuck

well basically I intend to "pull an ariel pink" and make out with EVERyone at that sleigh bells show so don't show up unless u want kisses

TONIGHT WILL BE DIFFERENT TONIGHT I WILL NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE TONIGHT I WILL HAVE DAIRY QUEEN ANNND MCDONALDS